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“The people I trusted, who in my eyes were God’s messengers on earth, were actually liars and abusers.”
Figoroja decided to reveal what happened, why this person died. He stresses that it is important to talk about it even now, because the people of his community still consider the vicar a holy and chaste priest.
It started as a hug and ended as a rape. Doris Wagner-Reisinger
Wagner-Reisinger left her religious community in Germany in 2011 and renounced religious life altogether.
“I was not only physically but also mentally abused: I was not allowed to read books or talk to anyone about personal problems. I lost my self-confidence and became mentally weak,” says Doris.
“After five years in the religious community, a male member of the community started paying me more attention whenever I was alone. At first he would come to my room and just talk.”
“After a while he started hugging me too, until one day he came to me, stripped and raped me.”
“I was in a state of shock: I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but I couldn’t believe it. I also knew it wasn’t right, it didn’t have to be. And I definitely didn’t want it.”
“At the same time, I was sure he knew what he was doing: he is a priest in a holy community! I didn’t know what violence was because I lived in great isolation. It took many years before I realized it was rape.”
“After that I had a crisis of faith — I thought if I told anyone, it would have a bad effect on the church, so God wants me to shut up. It was unbearable. And I didn’t want to believe in such a God.”
“After some time, I met another priest in that community, to whom I could be open. We fell in love and I thought: if God really exists, then he sent me this person.”
