Lies Visschedijk plays the mother of six-year-old autistic Sam in the new drama series The A Word. In conversation with NU.nl, the actress talks about the obstacles that parents with autistic children face. “There is a lot of shame involved.”
The series is a Dutch adaptation of the Israeli series Yellow Peppers and provides depth about autism, parenting and family life. Visschedijk plays the role of Mariël. “She is someone who is used to arranging everything properly in her own way. If she then has a child that she actually does not understand, it will cause a huge short circuit.”
In the 1960s and 1970s, according to Visschedijk, they thought that as a mother you had not given enough warmth when a child had autism. “They called this fridge parents.”
While this may seem like a long time ago, there is still a lot of prejudice towards parents today, the actress says. “Just look when you go on holiday with another family, how quickly you can judge the upbringing. Parents with a child with autism are ten times more affected by this.”
“There is a lot of shame involved. In the series, Mariël’s husband also says:” You are ashamed of your child, you are ashamed of our family and you are ashamed because you are ashamed, “said the actress.
‘Birthdays are a mini-hell for an autist’
Because of the prejudices surrounding autism, according to the actress, it is so important that this story is told. “Many parents with autistic children are very lonely and isolated. Birthday parties and family gatherings are a kind of ‘mini-hell’ for an autistic person. That’s too many people and too many incentives. You always have people who give parents such a moment of well-intentioned advice. That is often very painful. “
These prejudices can also be seen in the series. “I think Mariël is very afraid that her child will be placed in a sort of box where he will be put away like crazy and which will not give him enough opportunities in life. Every parent naturally wants a warm and empathetic child who cries when he gets up. “One knee falls and smiles when it’s his birthday. That’s not the case with this child.”
Although the series is about children with autism, it does not include autistic children. “I think it would not be very easy for an autistic child. The set is quite a chaotic environment in which you have to work long and hard.”
‘Autistic characters may be popular because of breaking taboo’
There are many series with characters with autism, take the Netflix series Atypical of sitcom The Big Bang Theory. What makes these characters so popular? “Maybe there is still some kind of taboo to be broken. An autistic person, for example, can be very happy with an orderly bookcase, while I might prefer to go skiing with my friends.”
Visschedijk continues: “What we understand by happiness or quality of life is very different for an autistic person. But perhaps we have recently realized that it is also nice to sometimes do less. It is sometimes still a taboo to not always looking for adventure, but I feel that this is breaking through. “
The actress hopes so The A Word can provide assistance. “I hope that parents find it very recognizable and comforting. Although I also understand that autists come in all shapes and sizes.”
“At the same time, people just have to know that it is not a SIRE campaign, then of course nobody will watch it. Above all, it is a great feel-good series.”
The A Word can be seen on NPO1 from Monday 21 September at 9:35 PM.
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