On April 7, 2019, Sarah Handelmann was killed in an air raid by the Turkish army in the mountains of Kurdistan. The German internationalist joined the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK) in 2017 and, as Sara Dorşîn, was a member of the women’s guerrilla YJA-Star. In an interview, an internationalist friend recalls the time they spent together in the mountains.
You met Sara Dorşîn in the mountains, where you took part in an education together. How was your impression of her then?
I first got to know her as a very calm person. Reticent isn’t the right word to describe it, but it definitely didn’t make a big splash. But her personality changed and developed very quickly in the mountains.
How was she during her education? What kind of impression did she make on you?
For everyone who comes from Europe, life in the mountains and in the party is a challenge. It’s difficult at first. But despite the difficulties everyone has, Sara quickly developed a militant personality. Her development from a calm person to a militant and good guerrilla fighter was very quick. She very quickly developed the skills necessary to become a guerrilla fighter.
What exactly were these qualities that made her a good guerrilla fighter?
Regarding the military aspects of training and the military exercises we did, it didn’t seem like she was learning any of this from scratch. It was more as if she had already had a lot in her blood without being aware of it. It seemed like this was an unknown side of her that she herself didn’t know about. Until then, she hadn’t noticed that she had such potential. And when she started realizing that, it made a very big change in her personality. From the beginning she possessed many skills that are necessary for the guerrillas to survive. I saw that clearly in her. She was very disciplined and also a very good shooter. The way she moved in the landscape and among trees, the way she responded to drones, etc. – the way she handled all of these things was perfect.
So you would say that she quickly adapted to life as a guerrilla fighter in the mountains?
Yes, I would say that. I could also clearly see that in the event that she did face the enemy, she would instinctively react in the necessary way. I saw that she possessed qualities that, in the event of a real war, would allow her to act instinctively instead of thinking long and hard about what to do. During her military training, I recognized this ability in her.
Were there things she struggled with in the mountains?
Yes. As a feminist from Europe, she initially struggled with the fact that in her basic training she lived with friends from an environment in which women are more likely to accept that they are both physically and mentally weaker than men. This was a really difficult subject for her and something that led to frustration at some point. She was sometimes unable to do certain jobs that she wanted to do because it was supposedly too difficult for a woman to do. It was clear to me that both her physical and mental strength far exceeded her physical appearance. She wasn’t a big person, but she was extremely strong both physically and mentally.
What topics was she interested in in relation to political and ideological issues?
I didn’t have a lot of ideological and political discussions with her because women and men had different resting places during free time. Because of this, I didn’t have the opportunity to spend time with her in person to have relaxed discussions on these types of topics. So this is a side of her that I unfortunately haven’t gotten to know very well. Nevertheless, through her behavior in everyday life it became clear that she had learned a lot during her theoretical and ideological education.
Did she take part in the discussions during education in class?
Yes, but there was also a language barrier. Şehîd Bager [Michael Panser] has often translated for us. But yes, she took part in the discussions. Perhaps not so often due to the language barrier, but she was very interested and followed our education with a great deal of attention.
When you think of Sara Dorşîn, what is the most formative memory you have of her? What do you associate most with her?
When I see other internationalists, especially women, I often see them again and remember them. Because Şehîd Bager, Şehîd Sara and I were three internationalists in the same education together. Every time I see an internationalist, I remember them. And it also makes me think about the foundations on which the party was built. Every time I read books about the history of the Party, Bager and Sara come to mind. When I walk through a forest or on stones, it also reminds me of Sara. Because I remember that during her military training she had natural talents related to how a guerrilla fighter should move between trees or on stones without making a sound. Every time I walk on stones, I suddenly see her face in front of me. Every time I walk through a forest or on stones I think about where to go in case the enemy attacks. I play through certain scenarios in my head. It is precisely at such moments that I think of Şehîd Sara.
Did you also have conversations with her about Europe and her life there?
I haven’t talked to her about it that much. Most of our discussions related to our education and the daily difficulties in the mountains. Even if these difficulties you encounter in the mountains are of course related to the society you come from. We mainly had discussions that were directly related to the challenge of how the guerrillas lived.
Have you seen her again after school?
No, after completing our education we were assigned various tasks. If I’m not mistaken, she was sent to the Gare region. But that’s really all I know. After the training we parted ways and we never saw each other again.
How did you find out she fell?
I wasn’t in the mountains then. I actually found out about it from the news on TV.
How did you feel when you found out?
Of course, it goes without saying that you are sad when you lose a comrade. But especially in connection with someone you spent your first days as a party cadre with. It’s only natural that this should have an added effect on you. Of course, it is always sad when a party member falls, no matter what part of Kurdistan. But at the same time I can say that it made me proud and happy too. As an internationalist, it makes me proud in the sense that an internationalist friend who came from Europe dedicated her life to our struggle and swore her oath as a cadre. The party’s first casualty was an internationalist himself. In this sense, this is a continuation and proof that the values for which our party is fighting are not just an expression of a Kurdish struggle for Kurdish rights and the Kurds’ right to exist.
–
