Heidelberg (dpa / tmn) – A generation of children is growing up whose parents do not have the very best reputation. They are too caring, too protective, too controlling, always circling over their children. In the early 2000s, a US family therapist coined the term helicopter parents.
Over the years, a few more unflattering labels have been added: curling or lawnmower parents who remove every obstacle for their children; Bubble wrap parents who would love to wrap their sons and daughters in protective bubble wrap from head to toe.
Young people who grow up under such influences start their independent adult lives differently? Even if the umbilical cord was cut around two decades ago, this phase of life is about cutting the umbilical cord again, about the ability to stand on your own two feet, make decisions and take responsibility for them. But can this succeed if it is the parents who do not want to let go of the bond?
Parents have more fears
“What has actually increased are the fears of parents about the future of their children,” observes Claus Koch. The psychologist researches how bonds between parents and children are formed and what influences them, especially in adolescence.
More than in previous generations, they tended to want to avert danger from their children and at the same time emphasize the idea of achievement. Helicopter parents are more notorious for the latter, while curling mothers and fathers are primarily concerned with paving the way for their children to a future that is as trip-free as possible.
A scientific construct is not one of the terms, emphasizes Koch and advises not to lump all parents of that generation with the same comb – and above all not to put all those in the helicopter drawer who took care of their children sensitively.
“It is important for the development of children that they feel safe and secure, that they experience recognition and resonance. This enables them to develop into independent and responsible adults,” says the psychologist.
Make own decisions
“For parents, the question should be how to enable their child to make their own decisions,” agrees Mirjam Uchronski. In the student advisory service at the Technical University of Munich, she advises young people who are still looking.
She doesn’t think that they are fundamentally more indecisive – also because their parents took a lot of things off their hands – but you can tell that some of them are younger due to a shorter time at high school. “They often don’t know that much about themselves. But there are also those who are certain from childhood that they will one day work as a doctor, for example.”
Advice at the university also for parents
The student advisory service at the Technical University of Munich also offers information events for parents – but not with the aim that mother and father then make the decision about a subject for their children for their children. “It’s more about imparting knowledge about how studying works today and where you can get information,” says Uchronski.
Such a wealth of opportunities did not exist before, “as parents you have to see this development, as well as the fact that studying today is different than when you were young”.
Your own 30-year-old lecture notes hardly give a realistic picture of the current requirements of an engineering degree. And the advice to simply look around in the lectures of other departments is difficult to implement in the context of the bachelor’s degree, which is more subject-focused as a result of the Bologna reform.
Excessive control creates insecurity
Being there as a conversation partner for your child is the best support that mothers and fathers could offer, says Uchronski: “For young people, they are ultimately the ones who know them best and can help them find out more about themselves.”
On the other hand, it becomes problematic when they project their own worries onto their children and don’t trust them to take their lives into their own hands: “If you constantly monitor children and young people, they don’t learn to take responsibility for themselves and to be careful with themselves deal with,” says psychologist Claus Koch. Excessive control makes you insecure, “the children have to come to the conclusion that the world is dangerous if they are constantly monitored”.
Generation Z plant, Generation Y mag’s flexibel
Generation Z is also called the young people born around the turn of the millennium. Susanne Böhlich, professor at the IU International University with a focus on human resources management, examines what ideas and expectations she has when she goes into work – and what distinguishes her from previous generations.
“Generation Z attaches great importance to predictability and security,” observes Böhlich. This clearly distinguishes them from Generation Y, born in the 80s and 90s, who have a strong desire for self-realization, flexibility and freedom. The younger ones, on the other hand, “are more cautious, more realistic and see what can be done”.
Is it because of the overprotective parents? That is certainly a possible factor, says Böhlich, but the issues that young people have been confronted with in their lives so far are just as important, the climate crisis and not least the corona pandemic: “We are all currently longing for more predictability. Exciting will be how the attitude towards life of the generations will change as a result of Corona.”
© dpa-infocom, dpa:220310-99-461272/4
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