Dealing with a Spouse’s Secretive Marijuana Use: Advice for the Disgusted
Marijuana use has become increasingly common in society, but what happens when your spouse’s secretive habit becomes a source of disgust? One reader, who goes by the name “Disgusted,” reached out to advice columnist Amy Dickinson for guidance on how to handle her husband’s constant marijuana use.
Disgusted describes her husband as a successful individual with a loving family, but his daily marijuana consumption has become a point of contention in their relationship. Not only does she dislike the smell, but she also despises his altered state. In an attempt to hide his habit, he has resorted to methods that prevent her from smelling the marijuana, such as taking walks with the dog. Disgusted is at a loss for what to do and seeks advice on how to address this issue.
Amy Dickinson acknowledges that if Disgusted didn’t object to her husband’s marijuana use, he probably wouldn’t feel the need to sneak around. To alleviate one of Disgusted’s objections, Dickinson suggests that her husband switch to consuming marijuana-infused gummies instead of smoking it. This would eliminate the pungent smell that Disgusted finds so repulsive.
However, Dickinson also highlights the fact that marijuana can be addictive for some individuals. She mentions a study cited by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, which reveals that approximately 3 in 10 people who use marijuana have marijuana use disorder. This disorder prevents individuals from stopping their marijuana use despite the negative impact it has on their health and social life. Disgusted’s husband may be experiencing this disorder or simply have a strong affinity for being high all the time.
Recognizing that dealing with a spouse’s marijuana use can be challenging, Dickinson recommends seeking support from “friends and family” support groups specifically designed for individuals affected by someone else’s pot use. She mentions Mar-anon.com, an organization that runs on a 12-step model and is associated with Marijuana Anonymous. The organization offers Zoom meetings and in-person gatherings to provide support and guidance in navigating these complex situations.
Ultimately, Dickinson advises Disgusted to stop policing her husband’s pot use and detach herself from his behavior. By separating her own emotions and opinions from her anger towards his choices, Disgusted can focus on finding a resolution that works for both of them.
What to Do with an Old Wedding Ring: A Superstitious Dilemma
In another letter to Amy Dickinson, a reader named “Superstitious” seeks advice on what to do with an old wedding ring from his previous marriage. Having been divorced for 13 years and happily remarried for seven, Superstitious’s wife recently stumbled upon the ring while cleaning out a junk drawer. He thought the ring had been lost long ago.
Superstitious expresses his desire to get rid of the ring, as it represents ten years of acrimony and chaos from his previous marriage. Although he is a nonpracticing Catholic, symbolism still holds importance to him, and he cannot bear the thought of putting the ring back into circulation. He even humorously suggests hiring a Hobbit to take the ring to Mordor and toss it into the Lake of Fire, but his wife dismisses the idea due to financial constraints.
Amy Dickinson appreciates the creative idea of a Hobbit-for-hire but suggests a more practical approach. She proposes finding a deeply symbolic act that would transform the ring into something else. One option could be melting it down and creating a charm out of it. However, this process can be expensive and time-consuming.
Instead, Dickinson suggests a simpler solution: throwing the ring into a creek. By giving it a mighty fling, Superstitious can symbolically let go of the past and move forward with his current marriage. Dickinson shares her own experience of throwing a ring into a creek, which proved to be a cathartic and transformative act for her.
Recognizing the Onset of Dementia: A Concerned Spouse
“In a Bad Place,” another reader seeking advice, expresses concern about her husband’s anger and isolation. Amy Dickinson suggests that these changes in his personality might indicate the onset of dementia. While it’s not explicitly stated in the letter, Dickinson believes that a medical evaluation would be a wise course of action. By seeking professional help, the couple can gain a better understanding of the situation and explore potential treatment options.
In conclusion, Amy Dickinson’s advice column tackles a range of issues faced by individuals in their relationships. From dealing with a spouse’s secretive marijuana use to finding ways to let go of past symbols, Dickinson offers practical and empathetic guidance to her readers. Whether it’s seeking support from dedicated organizations or considering medical evaluations, her advice encourages open communication and proactive steps towards resolution.
