In Sheikh Ragheb Harb Hospital in the south, Hoda Shor, the mother of Rimas, Talin and Leanne, healed her many wounds in pain and silence. There is someone on the hospital bed inside her intensive care room, trying to confront the scars that Israel left on her body. She alone knows the ugliness of the crime for which her three girls paid. There are many fragments on the right side of her body, dozens and dozens that penetrated her flesh and were removed after numerous surgical operations.
Deep inside her there is a different kind of pain, an open and deep wound that not all doctors will be able to repair or bandage, the wound of loss, loss and guilt that mimics the single word “if.” No one expected this crime that targeted the three butterflies and their grandmother in the south. Israel did it and nothing can erase its crime.
Would it have been easier for Hoda if she had lost her memory so that she would not suffer? I ask myself this question after I allowed myself to experience her pain. How can this mother endure her physical and psychological wounds? How can she silence this groaning that is roaring inside her? How could she forget the scenes she witnessed, with their painful and desolate details?
We are distinguished by our steadfastness as Lebanese, and Hoda’s story may be one of the stories of steadfastness that they have been talking about since ancient times. Anyone who saw her at the crime scene knows very well that her survival was a miracle, and it actually happened! Hoda was able to survive and overcome the stage of danger after her condition was very delicate. She is recovering little by little after she underwent several operations to remove the small metal balls found in the missile that exploded inside the car.
Her uncle, journalist Samir Ayoub, did not hide in his interview with “An-Nahar” that “she has come a long way and her condition is improving day after day. There are positive signs after her condition was delicate and stable. The right side of her body and her back were pierced by many shrapnel, but none of them caused any damage.” “Any fracture, disability, or defect. It takes some time after you have undergone operations to remove it, and you may need to perform another operation to clean the wounds because the type of fragments requires removing a piece of flesh from its place.”
These physical wounds remain bearable compared to her psychological pain. However, Job confirms that she repeats this phrase, “God brought them and God took them.” They are angels with God. She tries to be patient with this loss, and knows that there is no escape from what happened, “something will happen.”
Returning to those fateful moments of the bombing, her uncle explains that “she did not understand the beginning of what happened. She first thought she had been in a traffic accident. She saw a flash before the car exploded after the missile fell in the middle of it, and she heard her children screaming. After that, she began to understand the truth of what happened, and when “I reached her and pulled her out of the car. I realized the horror of what had happened.”
As Ayoub says, “We all feel guilty somewhere. We ask questions that begin with what if? However, Hoda is trying to be patient with her pain and loss in order to overcome this difficult stage.”
If her condition continues to improve, it is expected that she will be transferred from intensive care to a regular room in the hospital. She will continue to undergo cleaning of her external wounds that were marked on her body, and she will try hard to bandage her bleeding wound inside her… and with her we will live the dread of silent pain once again!
2023-11-10 14:47:00
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