By Aline Chatel
Published on 17 Feb 21 at 20:07
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Killian Denoual, 21, signed his first professional contract for the Finnish club of Mikkeli Ballers (D2). For five years, the young central defender wore the colors of the Stade Malherbe Caen. But after his departure, in the summer of 2019, the galleys followed one another for this Breton. His testimony, beyond the personal difficulties he encountered, tells of the difficulty of footballers leaving training centers without the Holy Grail of the professional contract.
I am proud to announce the signing of my first professional contract with the Mikkelin Palloilijat club. I would also like to sincerely thank all the people who have contributed to this far from easy road.
There is still a long way to go ???????? pic.twitter.com/axcgO45FM8– Frassati (@DenoualK) February 12, 2021
“I was born in Rennes and I started football at Stade Rennais. I was 6. Six years later, I have not been retained by the club. I was often injured due to growth problems. So I went to TA Rennes. For three years, I have blossomed fully. It was the amateur world, all I needed. At the end of my first year, I made the detections for the Ploufragan hope center. I was taken. It was fabulous, I played soccer every day. I left my family when I was 13. That’s when I realized that I was going to have a different life from other kids my age.
“Caen, it was serious feeling”
In Ploufragan, recruiters came to see us play every Wednesday. After my two years at the pole, I had three contract proposals: Caen, Nantes and Guingamp. I chose Caen. It was serious feeling. I felt the need to go there for the family side of the club. I arrived in second. I had a three-year aspiring contract. I had the chance to be upgraded to U17 Nationals with Matthieu Ballon. The second year, I was even a captain. But on All Saints’ Day, I crossed paths. I did a big rehabilitation. I came back in six months straight: the training center’s record!
“I scratched training with the pros”
Unfortunately, the injury caught up with me the following year, along with the compensations. I only played a few games. The club still extended me a year in amateur contract. It went really well, we had a big trip in U19 Nationals with coach Rodriguez. I extended a year again, for my first season as a senior. I did a lot of matches. Unfortunately, I was injured when the pro team might need a central defender. It could have been a small turning point but I scratched training during the international breaks and I ended up with more than 15 games in pro reserve, and especially golden teammates! I knew that this season, it passed or it broke. At the end, the club told me that the reserve was going to be rejuvenated and that for the pro contract, it was blocked.
“It was another world …”
I knew the history of some former center players and didn’t want to be like them. Basically, I had to go to Saint-Malo but the coach was fired after my detection. I was told about a game project in Dinan (N3). I wanted to go to N2 but I opted for Dinan, telling myself that it was a year to bounce back. Unfortunately, it was very complicated. It was another world. I had a lot of trouble adapting to a lot of things, sporting and extra-sporting. It was a mess for me. The days were very long.
“I was hospitalized for three weeks”
I worked in a high school as a pawn. I, who used to put my energy into football, put it into work. In the evening, training was at 7:30 p.m. I got home at 11pm, got up early the next morning to go to work. On January 2, 2020, I wake up in the night and I can’t breathe. I’m going to the emergency room. It’s a pneumothorax. I had a big operation on my right lung. I was hospitalized for three weeks. I couldn’t play soccer for three months. My last match was in December 2019.
“Killian, work. Killian, study “
After the first confinement, it was war with my family and relatives. Everyone was telling me, “Killian, work. Killian, study ”. But I was used to the taste of training, the taste of effort. I was not very talented but I was very hardworking. This is how I progressed. Last summer, I trained with the young pros from Nantes. Afterwards, I actively looked for a club abroad. After my bad experience with Dinan, I wanted to go elsewhere, another mentality, another football and be far from the problems I had at the beginning of 2020. In addition to my pneumothorax, I lost relatives. I wanted to go and write my story elsewhere.
“Ah, do you still believe Killian?” “
When you come out of a big prep, you say to yourself: “it’s going to happen”. But nothing was happening. To please my family, I worked. But the world of work, I can’t do it. I stopped. When the second lockdown arrived, I continued to train on my own. I said to myself: “I can’t stop”. I was sure I was going to find something but no one believed it. When you repeat something to someone, they often give in. My family thinks safety, that’s normal. When I said to my mother: “Mom, if I ever sign up for a pro…” she replied, “Ah, do you still believe Killian? “. It hurt me. My parents lost hope, necessarily. Their friends would say to them: “Is your son doing nothing? ”
“Deep inside me, I knew it was going to happen”
I created a training group in Rennes. It allowed us to keep a training rhythm and a quality of play. In December, a phone call arrived in the ears of my agent: we were looking for a central defender in Finland. Without hesitation, I went there. I left with not much. When you train on your own for seven months, you wonder at one point why you are doing this. Deep down, I knew it was going to happen, and I made a promise to someone who is no longer here today that I was going to see it through.
“The nerves have let go”
I arrived in Finland on January 14th. It was -26 degrees. After a week of confinement, I had four days to prove. I played a really big game. Everyone came to congratulate me at the end while the Finns are rather distant at first. I got into a corner and all the nerves gave way after everything I had been through, everything I had been through. The coach came to talk to me, he wanted to see me for another week. But in the bus, my agent warned me that I had a proposal.
“I’m starting from zero”
I am pleasantly surprised with Finnish football. I was told that they were often big aggressive guys, but that is absolutely not what I discovered. It’s a possession game, they’re not afraid to play, I like it a lot. By signing here, I regained my independence. I start from zero, I turn a page. It’s up to me to write the story. I am rewarded for my work. I don’t have an incredible salary but the club takes care of everything. If I finish in the first division, I will be able to benefit from visibility. I did not go into a lost hole.
“I play with all the encounters I have made”
I was a bit destroyed by my operation and my personal problems. I asked myself the question: what can I do better? Play soccer. I was sure that somewhere in Europe there was a place for me. I wanted to give myself my last chance. It lasted a long time: seven months. Today, I play for myself but I also play for all the talented guys who don’t have a club, those with whom I trained in Rennes. Their situation hurts my heart. I play with all the encounters I have had and all my painful past. It shows in my game. It’s different. I do not have the right to weaken or to be my star. “
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