A WhatsApp message here, an Instagram DM there – personal conversations are falling by the wayside more and more. Kristina thinks that shouldn’t be the case and gives reasons why.
It’s no secret that we are increasingly inclined to communicate using our smartphones. We no longer have to wait to see our friends when we want to tell them something, we can just write them a message. When we have a lot to talk about, we record a voice memo that the other person can listen to when they have the time. Face-to-face communication is decreasing and is being replaced by typing on the phone.
Informing instead of communicating
Real communication happens less and less because we are so busy informing other people about what we are doing, thinking and experiencing that the person who is right next to us loses importance and attention. We all know that “wait!” When we have to finish writing a message before the other can start to tell.
This gives the other a feeling of rejection and doesn’t add anything positive to the relationship. That’s why I cut down on my cell phone use when I meet someone and turn my attention to them. Messages on WhatsApp can wait and be answered later.
Better to chat than to chat
Likewise, I prefer to tell my acquaintances and friends personally what is going on in my life and what news there is than to write it to them. Especially since I moved out of home, I have noticed that I only manage to reply to important messages about, for example, the university. For the rest of the messages, I sometimes need a week to reply. It’s not because of the people, but because I don’t want to keep talking on my cell phone. However, I do notice how difficult it is to keep in constant contact if you don’t write a lot. It used to be possible without a smartphone.
Facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice help
I would also like to invite you to entertain yourself more again. There are so many reasons in favor of face-to-face communication:
Less misunderstandings: We all know it: a text message is completely misunderstood. This is because we have free room for interpretation and messages are often understood completely differently by the recipient than the author thinks them. Such misunderstandings occur less often in a conversation. If something is misunderstood after all, we can react quickly and clear up any misunderstandings.
There is no waiting time
Direct answer: Let’s be honest: it sucks to wait for an (important) answer. In the worst case, you can’t think of anything else and focus on nothing else until you get a response on WhatsApp. In a face-to-face conversation, the answer is immediately.
Multiple levels: Getting a text or voicemail is nice, but it lacks facial expressions and gestures. Much depends on how it is said or how we act with it. In my opinion, smileys are not a substitute for a real facial expression. Facial expressions, gestures and tone make up interpersonal communication.
Overcome yourself and become confident
More self-confidence: I also occasionally catch myself letting other people make phone calls or ordering food via the app instead of calling and speaking to people directly. But it shouldn’t be like that! You make fewer calls and write more emails in order to avoid direct contact. It is important that we do not shy away from direct contact.
Learn to listen: You can read the news whenever and as often as you want. If you don’t have time to answer right now, postpone it. You can skim through messages, skip them or not open them at all. You can’t just fast forward or skip a real conversation. It starts at school that students can’t concentrate and can’t listen. However, I find it very important to be able to do just that. Through face-to-face communication, we learn to be patient, to listen and to respond to others.
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