Some women feel obliged to prove their legitimacy and competence beyond what is necessary: they give their all, accept all the difficult practices, want to achieve perfection in everything they do… For these people, the time available for personal projects is reduced to a minimum.
This “ban” on recharging batteries is sometimes internalized by women working in positions of high responsibility. They place themselves (or place themselves) in a double competition: in the professional sphere, these women are victims of the belief that a woman must do twice as much as men to be successful – this is the “pro-conscientious” syndrome; and in the private field, they want to prove that they are the best possible hostesses.
For women who have this tendency to perfectionism and the temptation to want to hire “all alone”, the risk is to find themselves emotionally and physically exhausted … and to collapse. For those threatened by this trap, the challenge will be to regain control of their lives. Paradoxically, this can’t be done without losing some control!
#1. Be aware of your failures
(…) People who are at risk of being victims of exhaustion, or burnout, often fall into one or more of the following traps.
Confusing ambition with total dependence on one’s profession: giving everything for one’s work, bringing files home, staying connected 24 hours a day. No longer dedicating care to one’s personal life, forgetting and denying one’s needs for rest, distance , links and “free” activities. Turning commitment into bulimia for work (…)
· Do not step back: give each event excessive importance or, conversely, deny certain events.
Wanting to do everything perfectly on your own, with little trust in those around you, both professionally and personally. The burnout candidate feels that no task is being done well enough; he is the victim of excessive demands on himself and on others. He has an unlimited sense of guilt for not being good enough: what he produces is never enough!
· Consider your energy as inexhaustible: don’t waste time recharging your batteries, consider that your energy will remain strong and long-lasting, whatever the events. Focus all their energy on achieving their performance goals, rarely taking the time to release the pressure. (…)
#2. Take a step back
(…) Strive to take regular stock of your emotional and physical health; listen to the opinions of strangers and neutral people (not your mother) when they tell you that you look tired. You can also leverage your typical 360° assessments: if your whole team suggests you spend more time with your family and delegate more… There may be something we can do! (…)
Don’t hesitate to ask for more help around the house: from your spouse or children; and why not, increase the number of housekeeper or babysitting hours to do things for you. And if you can’t make it with these “means at hand”, don’t hesitate to ask for professional support, from a coach or a psychotherapist, psychiatrist or psychoanalyst.
#3. Provide decompression zones
(…) Focus on the critical tasks of your function – delegate others to your team. The difficulty, and not least, may be to accept that the tasks are done differently and perhaps less well than if you had taken care of them. Despite this necessary “lowering of requirements”, rest assured that everyone will gain: you will save time and develop the skills of your team.
Regularly review your efficiency; To do this, you can ask yourself the following questions:
A. Do I set daily, weekly, monthly or yearly goals? How effective am I in relation to my goals? ➜ The burnout candidate wants to do everything, right away. Setting milestones and milestones is acknowledging that there is a time for everything.
B. Have I established a level of quality and time for each activity? What are the deadlines? Am I setting myself unrealistic deadlines? (…) Is the quality level I aspire to the right one? ➜ For the burnout candidate, everything is urgent and important.
C. Short, medium or long term work? Is my network expanding or shrinking? How much of my time is spent on strategy versus ongoing case processing? What is my ability to free up time for the unexpected: is my schedule overloaded or do I still have some margin? ➜ The burnout candidate no longer has time to focus on his network and remains glued to operations.
Finally, regularly ask yourself the question of what would make you happy today, and also in the professional context. (…) Don’t forget to have fun in your work! Humor is also important because it demonstrates the ability to laugh at oneself and at situations: that is, to step back and be clear about one’s own functioning.
#4. Optimize your efficiency
(…) Be alert to the fluttering that generates a loss of efficiency: strive to be fully in what is happening. Feel free to close your office door and go to voicemail. If possible, get someone to monitor and protect you. The absence of interruptions allows you to gain 30% efficiency!
· In meetings, have an obligation in relation to respecting the times and topics to be discussed.
· When planning your week or your day, take into account your biorhythm: if you are more fit in the morning, choose this moment to carry out the tasks that require greater concentration.
· Assign a time frame for each task – even if you happen to overflow, you’ll be mindful of the time!
· Set appointments in your calendar for your time allotted for important/non-urgent tasks. respect them!
Valérie Rocoplan is the author of “Dare to be the chef. For women who want to take on their professional ambition”, book published by Alisio in April 2022.
– Photo DR
The author :
Valerie Rocoplan she has been the founder and director of the coaching company Talentis since 2003. One of her work topics is the accompaniment of diversity in companies and support for women’s careers. This text is taken from her book “Dare to be the chef. For women who want to take on their professional ambition”, published by Alisio in April 2022, 288 pages, 17 euros.
