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(CNN) – Do you want to eat better, exercise more, stop vaping or lose weight?
Excellent. Now is the time to establish those New Year’s resolutions.
As we enter a new year – and a new decade – your first step is to believe that you can do it.
The opposite is also true, said the professor of psychology at the University of Scranton, John C. Norcross, who has studied resolutions for decades. If you think you can’t do it, you’re probably right.
While about 40% of Americans set purposes around January 1, between 40% and 44% of them will succeed at six months, Norcross said, reporting their results from multiple studies with colleagues.
But if you believe in yourself, you are 10 times more likely to change through a New Year’s purpose, compared to those who don’t, when both groups have comparable goals and motivation, he said.
Here we show you how to start in the best possible way this year.
Resolution idea: eat an apple every day for lunch or snack.
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Make it specific
Eating better and exercising more are good ideas, but they are too general and do not give you an action plan. People often think that they lack motivation when the problem is really a lack of clarity, the author wrote. James clear in his book “Atomic Habits.”
“The simple way to apply this strategy to your habits is to complete this sentence: I will be [COMPORTAMIENTO] in [TIEMPO] in [UBICACIÓN]”, Writes Clear.
If you want to eat better, be specific: set the purpose of adding a fruit or vegetable to your lunch every day, limit fast food to once a week or eat dessert once a week.
Make it possible
Don’t commit yourself to a marathon if you hate running.
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Avoid purposes that sound great but unattainable. In fact, make them something you can enjoy. They can still be difficult, but that doesn’t mean they have to make you feel miserable.
To eat better, put that bowl of fruit right next to your lunch bag, so you can have an apple or orange every day. Do you hate apples? Do not choose apples. Choose a fruit that you probably eat.
To exercise more, you may want to run more. But if you’re a night person, don’t make it harder trying to run every morning before work, he said Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project”. Do it after work.
Do you want to meditate? Excellent. Rubin hates meditating, so he stopped. It’s fine to experiment and stop doing things you don’t like. “Know who is one and who is not,” he says.
Allow yourself to fail
It’s fine if a co-worker’s donut box beats you for a day.
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Everyone is wrong. Expect to have occasional slips. But don’t let the occasional exercise class or Friday’s donation in the workplace take you off the road, Norcross explained.
Most successful purposes stumble in January, but 71% of those who have succeeded say their first slip strengthened their efforts through a combination of guilt, raising awareness of the seriousness of their problem and the slip reminded them They must refine their plans, he said.
If you know you are entering a high pressure situation, practice saying “no thanks” in advance to your aunt’s apple pie. Even people who don’t like apple pie sometimes still eat it when offered just for courtesy. Instead, practice saying “no, thanks.”
What if you stumble? Focus on getting back on track, not in the fall. “People who show more compassion for themselves are more likely to return to the horse and try again,” Rubin said.
Get ready for success
Trying to stay away from your phone? Take it out of your room using a standard alarm clock.
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Look what they tell you: if you’re determined to spend less time on your phone but grab it as soon as you wake up, put your phone in another room at night. Oh, is it your alarm? Buy an alarm clock. Now they cost US $ 6.
If you want to limit sweets, take them out of your house. Stay away from your work break during Wednesday’s snack time (not that I am talking about my personal experience at CNN).
Know yourself
Do the activities that make you who you want to be.
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Instead of asking you to consider your goals, Clear asks you to consider this two-step process.
Decide the type of person you want to be: A healthy person? A strong person? A writer? A musician?
Then show yourself with small victories over time. Gym classes, weightlifting, writing, practice. Every time you do something towards the goal of who you want to be, tell yourself that you are becoming that person. (I did Pilates in the morning before I started writing this article. It is part of my goal to be a healthy person.)
Make it public
Author Gretchen Rubin says she plans to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art a lot in the new year.
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If you are surrounded by friends and family who support you, making your goals public and asking them to hold you accountable can help. You can also join a gym with friendly competition or a group like Weight Watchers.
The purpose guides I spoke with agreed to make theirs public: Norcross decided to stop multitasking in 2020, and had already begun practicing during our telephone interview. (After he mentioned it, I felt I had his full attention).
The psychologist Lisa Damour, author of “Under Pressure” on the lives of teenagers, plans to focus on meditating in 2020, despite having two children and a career rather than full-time.
“I’m going to start with five minutes a day,” he said, crediting James Clear of having started a daily “atomic habit” before trying more.
Rubin will try to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art every day he is at his home in Manhattan, a few blocks from the museum.
While that seems like a difficult task, it is also the subject of his next book, so it is a great motivation to explore and learn from his new workplace in the new year.
Preach your children by example
Model good behavior: teens won’t stop using their phones if you’re always with yours.
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Parents can open the door to a conversation with their children about the purposes by talking about their own reflections and hopes for the new year. They may mention that it is difficult to achieve their own goals, and that perfection is not the goal.
Parents can mention the changes they want to make and model how they want to make those changes, Damour said. It is important to mention it without criticizing, he said.
With children under 10, parents can take the initiative in a discussion about where family members have room to grow, he said. Once your children reach adolescence, give them no idea, he added.
“Parents should work with the assumption that no normal developing teenager wants to be told what to do,” Damour said. If the teenager is doing the right thing in silence and the father suggests it, the boys are likely to stop.
“Most of how we guide young people is to model the behaviors we want,” he said. “If what you say and do doesn’t match, a teenager will notice and notice your hypocrisy.”
Change it
Don’t worry about a one-year purpose. In fact, you can say goodbye to cookies for only one month.
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Do you simply hate the idea of a purpose for the whole year, seeing a whole year of failure ahead? Follow in the footsteps of CNN’s Features editor, David Allan, and establish one year of 12 micro resolutions monthly. In 2018, he eliminated a behavior every month: for example, alcohol, sweets, screens around his children, saying the word “like,” and noted the impact of his mood and the effect on him and his family.
It went so well, that last year he decided add something to your life every month, including meditation, movement, active listening and more hours of sleep.
Getting enough sleep didn’t go so well in a month, so it changed. He wrote his own rules, so he could change them and, therefore, succeed. And you can too.
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