Frugalism: I wanted to increase money, but the opposite happened

Even as a child, I loved everything to do with saving and budgeting. But in the end thrift became an unhealthy compulsion for me.

After years of renouncing even the smallest of pleasures, I was finally tired of saving and fell into a shopping frenzy that even went to my savings.

So I had to change something so as not to jeopardize my future prosperity – and just included expenses for fun and leisure in my weekly budget.

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I wrote my first savings plan when I was eight. I wanted an ipod shuffle and it took $ 100 to buy it. So I saved my $ 5 pocket money every week until I finally got the magical amount. I still remember the day my father drove me to the electronics store Best Buy. I emptied my entire piggy bank there at the till, each five-dollar bill individually, and finally held my new iPod in my hands.

This experience has shaped my relationship with money for years. It was exciting to be in control of my finances, and I liked the idea that by saving and household I could ultimately buy the things I wanted. As I got older and started making more money, saving became part of my identity.

But over the years thrift developed into a real compulsion. It was almost like playing with myself: How little can I actually spend in order to still have the essentials? I always looked for the cheaper option, never bought anything “just for fun”, rarely went out to eat, and often missed events with friends just because I didn’t want to spend the money to attend. Frugality is certainly not a bad quality. But I overdid it so much that in the end I didn’t get any of the money I was making. I no longer had control over my money – rather, I let it control me.

My Frustration eventually led to over-spending

I noticed that I suffered from “frugality fatigue”, translated as “frugality exhaustion”. This is a term used by some sociologists to describe a type of household burnout. Essentially, it means someone is too frugal to hold out over the long term – which in the end leads to financial collapse and reckless overspending. As with so many things in life – like dieting or exercise, to name a few – it is easy to lose motivation if you want everything at once. Kind of a yo-yo effect. I was tired of carefully monitoring my bank statements and constantly doing without things. Doing “the right thing” all the time got boring.

My budget started to go away – not all at once, but step by step. One purchase here, another there. Giving in felt amazing. When I wanted something, I bought it. I literally wasted my money for about six months. I bought clothes, expensive technical equipment, furniture, everything I could get my hands on. Fortunately, I’ve never spent any money I didn’t have. But I tapped a large part of my savings and lost a lot of time in which I could have increased my wealth.

I was now on both sides of the spectrum: extreme saving and extreme spending. Neither worked. I knew I had to find a balance; a way to make sure I met my savings goals while leading a comfortable life.

Read too

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Retire at 40: What you can learn from frugalists about saving and dealing with money

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I made two important changes to my budget

The key to this is to allow small or occasional unnecessary expenses. So I made two changes in order to be able to save sustainably and be happy in the long term.

1. I have added fun and leisure expenses to my budget

Before my change of heart, I always felt guilty when buying things for myself. But after my great savings frustration, I knew I had to relax some of my self-imposed restrictions in order not to burn out again. So I included spending on fun and leisure in my weekly budget.

Now I always set aside about $ 50 per paycheck to use as I see fit. Sometimes that means ordering dinner instead of cooking it at home, or buying a new book instead of going to the library. Or I put the money aside for future, more expensive purchases instead.

At first I was afraid that I would relapse and squander money indefinitely. But in the end I realized that this classification is very important for my long-term goals. For me it has roughly the same significance as breaks have for my productivity. There is no way I can work hard for long periods of time if I never take the time to relax and recharge. It’s the same with saving. I cannot save in a disciplined manner if I never allow myself to enjoy what I have saved. Spending a small amount of money is essential to saving large amounts of money.

Budgeting can feel restrictive, but it’s really just a tool. By giving myself space, I know that I am still putting the majority of my disposable income aside and working towards my savings goals. But I also have fun at the same time.

2. I treat myself to a reward every week

Never having something to look forward to was one of the main reasons for my frustration. I knew it would feel good to hit certain saving milestones. But the daily drudgery got tiresome when every week felt the same and the payoff was so far away.

Now I treat myself to something every week – usually on Fridays. This also gives me something to look forward to. Most of the time, it looks like I buy myself a nice white coffee and take a walk around my neighborhood. Before the pandemic, I used to meet friends in a café. While it’s definitely cheaper to make coffee at home, it feels special to indulge in a $ 5 cup – and it doesn’t end up being particularly expensive.

So by integrating such expenses back into my weekly routine, I finally feel like I’m following a sustainable plan that makes me happy too. I live below my (savings) possibilities, but I enjoy life.

Read too

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People waste 70 percent of their money on three things – if you save there, you can retire early

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This article was translated from English by Steffen Bosse. You can find the original here.

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