Settling in the complaint implies inactivity, negativity and pessimism. What mental change do we need to move from a culture of complaint to a culture of action? Stop victimizing yourself and move towards solving your own problems
How many times have we heard certain people complain over and over, with or without reason! For example, how difficult and hard their life is, how unlucky they are, etc. Without a doubt, stopping complaining and taking action is the first step to get out of this permanent inert and victimized state.
In this way, if we stopped complaining as much about what does not work as we would like and we focused more on everything we have and can do to enjoy and be happy, we would not be so bitter. We live in the era in which we have more things and facilities, but in which people are more unhappy.
We have become accustomed to needing more and more and making a drama when that invented need is not fulfilled. And consequently, we complain again and again without reaching any solution. Well, complaining is good for nothing more than sinking into bitterness.
How are the people who keep complaining?
1. They are negative
Protestors are never happy with anything. They want something, they complain if they don’t have it and when they have it they complain again.
Although the situation they live in is positive or they have achieved great personal or professional achievements, they will always have the tagline “Yes, but …”. This attitude in the end makes them never enjoy anything and make themselves and the rest of humanity bitter with their toxicity.
2. They are not looking for solutions
It is much easier to rant, criticize or squander what has not turned out as I would have liked, than to find solutions to modify what can be modified. Looking for solutions to problems means to stop falling into victimhood and start fighting for what you want, which involves an effort that many people are not willing to do.
3. They are gossipy and picky
Complainers are usually critical of others and the circumstances of their lives and this is the product of their own unhappiness and shortcomings. Remember that we always criticize others, our own shortcomings.
Surely, the problem is neither in the criticized nor in the fact that it is happening to them, but in themselves, who do not know how to appreciate or value the good things of others and of life in general. Their attention is fully focused on what they consider to be negative, without being able to see the positive side that everything has.
4. They do not accept that there are things that cannot be changed
For complaining people, acceptance does not exist in their lives. They cannot tolerate things not going their way and they tell themselves that it is unbearable, intolerable, or disastrous for the world to work the way it works!
The result is a worsening of the problems without evidently finding any solution in this regard and causing significant anxiety and suffering. The complaint will end when the person feels tired or bored of complaining and sees that, apart from a great irritation, they get nothing from it.
What to do to stop complaining?
To stop complaining in the first place you have to admit that we do. And then you can implement the following tips:
Stop judging everything: You are not a judge of anything or anyone, therefore, the most intelligent and sensible thing is to keep your mouth shut from time to time and adapt to circumstances. Also, before judging, look in the mirror: you are not perfect either
Promote acceptance in your life: Acceptance is a balm to achieve inner peace and mental health. If we realize that there are various situations, people or events over which we have no power and control, we will learn to stop having expectations and accept everything, as it comes
Stop negative thoughts: words are the product of our thoughts, of what we say to ourselves. If we know how to fight negative and irrational ideas, it will be very difficult to fall into victimhood, criticism and continuous complaint
The key is to confront our ideas with reality and realize that many times we are the ones who anticipate, generalize and oversize things.
Focus on the positive: everything has its good side, but it seems that we already take it for granted and we are not able to focus our attention on all the good that we have around us.
Change takes small steps and some effort: stopping complaining is not easy
If you make a conscious effort and start listing all the positive things in your life, you will realize that there are more nice and good things than you realized. Turn that you don’t like and you will discover that it contains some value.
In summary, practice these tips daily and you will see how life begins to change you. Remember that change always starts with ourselves, not with the outside. Asking the claim sheet to the world won’t do you any good. Change and start loving life the way it is!
People used to criticizing are usually the most unhappy. Well this is related to personality traits.
Source: From Alicia Escaño Hidalgo to La Mente es Maravillosa.-
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