“Just writing it in a letter is a big step for me.” A Premier League player passed the cap on Friday. A step to gain momentum and perhaps try to break a taboo: homophobia is a scourge still very present in the world of football.
This coming out aims to protect his mental balance: “It is affecting my mental health more and more. I feel trapped and my fear is that revealing the truth about who I am will only make things worse, ”said the footballer.
This statement also seems to be a way of preparing the ground for the moment when he will speak about it with open face: “The truth is that I do not think that football is yet ready for an openly gay player. (…). There is still an enormous amount of prejudice in football. There are countless times when I have heard homophobic chants from supporters. ”
“I have known since I was 19 that I am gay. It can be a nightmare every day. ”
But the player is not completely alone in dealing with this distress. In this letter, he declares that he has been supported for a year by the Justin Fashanu Foundation, named in homage to the first player in Great Britain to have revealed his homosexuality. Justin Fashanu had committed suicide at the age of thirty-seven, eight years after coming out. “It is difficult to say in words how much the Foundation has helped me. It made me feel supported and understood and gave me the confidence to be more open and honest with myself in particular. Without that support, I really don’t know where I would be now. ”
“Although my heart often tells me that I have to do it, my head always says the same thing:” Why risk everything? “
In this situation, the truth is likely to harm his career. Hence the choice to express themselves without revealing their identity. For the moment, he explains that the situation is difficult but sustainable, but he could well shorten his passage to the highest level: “If I follow my plan, I will retire sooner than expected and come out. I could lose years of a lucrative career. But you cannot put a price on your peace of mind. And I don’t want to live like this forever ”.
Created: 07/11/2010, 5:36 p.m.
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