‘Why can’t we ask about someone’s wish to have children?’ † Columns & Opinion

We find it difficult to talk about difficult matters, so we don’t like to do that. And we are not thanked for that by the people who are having a hard time. take a passing away† You regularly hear from relatives that in the subsequent period they are walked around with a bow. They are angry about it – and rightly so.

deep pain

But sometimes I just don’t know. For example, if I run into someone grieving at 5:30 PM in the fruit and vegetable section of the local supermarket, I really want to know how things are going and if there’s anything I can do. I just don’t want to pull that person into the deep pain so close to the family rush hour with my compassion. That person may also be busy with the shopping list and tired from the day. And then I’m going to interrupt. Yes, or do not disturb and that can also be wrong.

Impertinent question

It is often not unwillingness. It is discomfort, ignorance and also fear to make the other person sad. Another subject where you quickly walk on eggshells is a wish to have children. I have already seen countless posts online in which people with an (as yet) unfulfilled desire to have children agitate against that one apparently insanely impertinent question. It’s hurtful. It stirs up pain. You should keep the question to yourself. But what if you’re just genuinely interested?

Genuine interest

So I’m not talking about that one curious colleague who asks the question in a crowded canteen during lunch in the presence of ten others. Or about that jolly bloody annoying boomer uncle who already asked in his well-known ‘witty way’ during your grandmother’s birthday if you were still wearing your coat. I’m talking about genuine interest, asking the question to get to know each other better and from there to offer a listening ear.

child lost

I understand very well that Chrissy Teigen is done with followers who ask it all the time. Followers are just a little further away than that colleague or uncle; you don’t even know them. And what do they expect now? That Chrissy explains under such a reaction where she is in her cycle and when she will test? The woman has lost a damn child at 20 weeks of pregnancy and is in an IVF process. That process is steeped in sadness, tension and uncertainty. That is none of the business of one xx76tessylove with a profile picture with sixteen filters.

nice conversation

Please let your uncle know how his question comes to you, but watch out that in your grief you slam the door to genuine interest right in their face with fierce posts or angry statements for people who already find it difficult. Maybe someone has gathered all the courage to ask you if you want children and it is the opening for an unexpectedly beautiful conversation. Start from the good.

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