In this second wave of the epidemic it appears that most of the contagion takes place within families or within the network of acquaintances. A phenomenon with imaginable psychological consequences: whoever believes he has brought the virus “into the house” can feel in fault in front of positive or even sick relatives.
“It’s an understandable reaction,” comments Valentina Di Mattei, clinical psychologist at the S. Raffaele Hospital and associate professor at the Vita Salute San Raffaele University in Milan. «In the prevention campaigns with respect to the spread of the virus, a lot of leverage has been made on the behavior of the individual and therefore it will be easier for this association to be triggered. In normal situations, however, families are usually a tested emotional container and it is difficult for the sense of guilt to manifest itself in an excessive way. At the same time it could happen that it is others who make one feel responsible and therefore adopt expulsive or isolating behaviors towards the infected. This is the so-called “stigma”, already emerged in the first wave in spring and typical of previous epidemic situations, one for all HIV ».
Feeling the responsibility of one’s actions is “healthy”, but isn’t feeling guilty for having transmitted a highly contagious disease too much? “The sense of guilt has the task of inhibiting behaviors deemed inappropriate, unethical and moral, in the best sense of the term. It occurs as a consequence of the violation of norms shared by the environment in which one grows up and internalized over time (Freud’s famous superego). So being a vehicle of contagion can lead to self-blame, remorse and regret. The possibility of experiencing this feeling is linked in this case to the subject’s evaluation of having had the opportunity to act differently, in a more protected and therefore socially more acceptable way. It must not be forgotten that the sense of guilt, experienced in just measure, plays a role helpful for the individual. However, according to their personality and the environment in which they grew up, everyone has a different willingness to try it: from self-reflection and reprimand to forms of self-punishment ».
Can it become pathological?
“When one crosses the threshold from normal to pathological, one can speak of guilt in terms of an excessive tendency to remorse and regret and this can trigger – or make it more evident – some forms of depression. It may be that this situation is the famous straw that breaks the camel’s back, destabilizing already difficult balances. Also for this reason the subjects with forms of discomfort psychic are more at risk. Better to resort to the help of a professional when the first alarm bells appear, before the discomfort becomes debilitating. It should be remembered, on the other hand, that the lack of guilt is often present in antisocial personality disorder ».
Is it different if the person who transmitted the virus also got sick?
“Yes, being affected by the disease could be experienced as the punishment for possible guilt.”
Is there also a sense of guilt on the contrary, that of those who see others get sick and he doesn’t?
“A particular form of guilt is the”survivor syndrome“. Those who survive a traumatic event feel that they are not worthy of being able to enjoy what the missing person cannot live anymore. An illustrious example is that of the writer Primo Levi, who survived the concentration camps but not the sense of guilt. There are many cases of people recovered from Covid who have suffered family losses. In this emotional reality it is normal to experience this feeling, which must be understood with sensitivity, helping the person to deal with the grief for the loss and to accept what he is feeling. However, it is necessary to be vigilant to understand if the situation does not last too long (beyond 6-12 months) by interfering with usual behavior. In these cases it is necessary to consult a specialist ».
Does this phenomenon affect more those with older family members?
“Infecting an elderly person statistically involves more serious consequences, so the sense of guilt is understandable, including that deriving from not being able to take care of it directly because of the distance”.
And the children who, by resuming their activities, contributed to spreading the infections?
«For them the privations have been intense, affecting the very“ places ”where most of their current and planning life takes place: away from home and away from the family. It was not just a pause in a continuing trajectory, but the subtraction of part of the identity still under construction. Consequently, the ability to feel guilty (or not) must also be included in this perspective. Particular is what is happening in schools when news of a Covid case is announced. Strongly aggressive and expulsive dynamics are observed towards those who fall ill who, inevitably, will therefore be subject to feeling guilty for having put at risk or “quarantined” an entire class ».
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