‘Maxim, children don’t need to be protected from Nikkie by you’ | Columns & Opinion

“Of course we women collectively have a knack for being a bit quick on our toes, and the younger generation has a knack for that. It should not hurt anything, don’t rub anywhere and what you think of someone else must be completely woke. Live and let live is the motto and that means that you would rather not criticize anything, unless that criticism is aimed at people who criticize everything.

fashion

Okay, that’s going a bit far for me. For example, I don’t like the huge caterpillars on the foreheads of more and more women, which you have come across in the streets for the past two years. The eyebrow hairs combed straight up unnaturally: it has to be your thing. But that’s just how it works; make-up and facial styling are also fashionable. I well remember how in ‘my time’ eyebrows were plucked into thin lines. Did you also like…

disrespectful

That’s how we got the Leco look. Suddenly everyone walked with a hideous brown border around the nude-lipstick-tinted-lips. And my mother comes back from the time of the blue and green mascara. What inspired the world then… It’s fine to give your vision on that. You don’t have to like everything, not even the make-up arts of Nikkie Tutorials. But what is Maxim Hartman involved in?

Malicious malpractice

Nikkie is looking for the new make-up artist in the Netherlands for Zapp. Maxim argues that we must protect our children from this evil malpractice. Nikkie is said to encourage women and (and I quote) ‘non-binary beings’ to dress up as a common Polish prostitute. He also thinks it is environmentally unfriendly, our national climate activist. “All makeup is a scam!” he concludes.

Creative

Maxim, kids don’t need to be protected from Nikkie by you. Many young children have never heard of Nikkie, but already have their own make-up case on their own make-up table; nothing more fun than experimenting a bit with the most hideous colors and some brushes. Think of it as a modern drawing or painting lesson. Get creative with your face as a drawing pad.

Beige zip-off pants

And let women know for themselves what they are putting on their face, how they are filling the pores and which trend they are or are not participating in. Women do this mainly for themselves. I can go out in the morning unmade, but then I will think every time I look in the mirror: ‘Hey, how uncomfortable.’ It’s a bit like putting on beige zip-off pants; you won’t be happy either.

Slingers

We like to make something out of it. To hang the streamers on our own faces, so to speak. We do that because we like it, not because we would like to go into Polish prostitution. And believe us; you guys think it’s really nice that we make something out of it. We can leave the finery alone, but that makes the world a lot duller and grayer. And if we decide, because you want it so much, to close the make-up bags for good, we will also go massively with the beige zip-off trousers, three sizes too big. All creativity in the trash, just for you.

fuss

Basically what I’m trying to tell you is this: Just don’t get involved. Or at the very least accept that if you’re so disrespectful about women on social media, you’ll get a shit storm of responses back (and nobody cares about your ‘Don’t you agree with me; keep it to yourself or give it up? ‘). At least you’ve got your bit of commotion back in for this week and that will probably satisfy in a bizarre way.”

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