Looking inward, acknowledging anxiety and finding yourself is a difficult process that takes time, and Carla Morrison knows this very well. In 2018, the Mexican singer decided to put her career on hold to focus on her mental health. You walked away from the stage, stopped making music and went to find a new life in Paris. The pandemic has arrived and even she herself thought that her musical career had come this far. But, after years of introspection and therapy, Carla Morrison returns with her new album ‘El renacimiento’, a song dedicated to healing the most important relationship in her life, the one she has with herself.
The three-time Latin Grammy-winning singer’s latest LP includes songs like ‘Ansiedad’, dedicated to giving a name to that part of her life that took her away from music for a while; ‘Obra de arte’, which talks about the beauty of the body regardless of size; and ‘Encontrarme’, a claim to herself that she can find peace in the midst of chaos.
But Carla Morrison has not only surprised fans with this new recording work, but has also announced the dates for her return to the stage. It will have two stops in Colombia on November 26 and 28: the first day will be in Bogotá, at the Jorge Eliécer Gaitán Theater, and the second, in Medellín, at the José Gutierrez Gómez Metropolitan Theater.
Despite her long absence, the singer has shown that she is still a very relevant figure for Latin American pop and “El renaissance” received two Latin Grammy nominations. One for “Best Pop Vocal Album” and another for their song “Encontrarme”, which was nominated for “Song of the Year”. It was a long job, accompanied by a lot of introspection, but the result gave him great satisfaction because it allowed him to continue pursuing his great passion: music.
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What do you have planned for your concerts in Colombia?
We have planned a show made like El Renacimiento, it is in stages to be reborn. There’s the new songs, there’s the old songs, and everything is built for people to experience it in that order, as a kind of rebirth. It’s super cool, I really enjoy it, because people go through all those phases with one. They will have fun, but it will be a moment of reflection and full of emotions.
“It’s not a guy I’m writing to, it’s anxiety,” she said of her new album. How does the writing experience change when you write to an emotion instead of a person?
It’s definitely more complex. More than anything because anxiety is something I’ve always lived with, since I was nine years old, and getting away from it a bit to be able to see and describe it was strange. But it also had a much more solid payoff, because ultimately these are songs that helped me relax and feel better. So it was a more complex process, but definitely more rewarding. Also, I think he already owed me, because if I had an enemy for many years it was anxiety. Although oh well, she’s also my friend in the end because it helps me figure out where I need to focus my attention. Whenever I work too hard or don’t sleep well, she’s the first to say “Hey! Do not start…”.
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‘El renaissance’ starts strongly with the song ‘Inward’. What’s the hardest thing to look inside?
Looking inward is something many of us don’t practice because we have so many distractions. According to social networks, today we are more connected than ever, and perhaps it is true, we are connected to virtual life, but we are super disconnected from ourselves, the most disconnected we have ever been in history. So, looking inward was something life demanded of me, because if I didn’t, I don’t know if I would still be here. It took me a lot emotionally, but the song came out in 10 minutes as I cried like a calf. It hurt a lot to have to accept that part of me.
Do you think art is a form of therapy?
Yes, making art is definitely a form of therapy. But I’m a very sensitive person, so sometimes making music, exercising, and eating well isn’t enough. It’s okay because art is very meditative and allows you to reflect on how you really feel, but there are times when you have so many questions and no answers and it’s only going to therapy that everything starts to become clearer. Art helps a lot, but you hit a limit and that’s what I think is the magic of going to therapy and talking.
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Was there a song more difficult to write than the others?
‘Inner’ and ‘Anxiety’. Those two cost me a lot because I didn’t want to visit that sad part I had experienced. Furthermore, with the second, it was very difficult for me to describe someone who has accompanied me since I was a child. But I think they’re one of the songs I enjoy singing live the most, because I see people cry and cry when they hear them and I say “as long as people can hear them and use them as healing, perfect.”
Furthermore, not only are the lyrics to “Ansiedad” significant, but she also accompanies it with a very symbolic portrayal of how she feels in her music video.
Of course, that video was made for people to see what anxiety feels like. All that dancing was built for that, for people to see how you feel when they pull you and talk to you from all sides. It was a lot of fun and at the same time very healthy to do it.
How would you describe the feeling of being wrong when everyone was telling you you had to be right?
What happens is that we associate success with work, and success and happiness are very different things. It’s very common for people to tell you, “You shouldn’t be wrong, you have the money,” but, while money helps to have tools that can help us, that’s not the end of it. The end actually, because we seek our tools to cultivate our being. So it’s very frustrating when people tell you, “I suffer because I don’t have what you have,” because we all have a story. They told me I had everything and yes, but I didn’t have time for myself or to know who I was in the world. Everyone told me my worth, but I didn’t know what it was because I hadn’t had those conversations with myself. It was very frustrating and that’s why I took so much time to think and reflect, to give myself time.
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At the end of his album is the song ‘Encontrarme’ in which he says “I’m unhappy, it’s true”. What did it mean to be able to achieve that acceptance?
It is very difficult because in those situations we are ashamed to say “I feel bad”. But, for that reason, I also believe we need to open up a space in our lives where mental health has an important place. Physical health and mental health do not exist without each other. Many believe that if you exercise or eat well enough, it helps, but it doesn’t solve the problem. We have to open our hearts and minds to find answers, we have to face ourselves, because sometimes we are our own worst enemy.
SANTIAGO GOMEZ CUBILLOS
EL TIEMPO multimedia journalism school
