“A first step in an acute situation may be to build distance: take a deep breath and slowly count to ten,” says Hannes Zacher, professor of industrial and organizational psychology at the University of Leipzig. This alone can be liberating and make you feel more relaxed about things.
Think about your anger
But it also makes sense to take a quiet minute to reflect on certain situations that make you so angry. “You also have to realize that people are different and have different attitudes,” says Zacher.
In the course of this reflection, one must confront one’s own needs and desires with the seething behavior of others, and explore for oneself where a middle ground might lie.
The perpetual whistle
but there is another way. “It is entirely appropriate to tell others that they have wildly upset you,” says occupational psychologist Zacher.
Let’s say you’re sitting in your office and a colleague next door is constantly whistling melody after melody at work, resulting in you being completely annoyed. “In such a situation, it makes sense to describe a remark to your colleague in a concrete and calm tone,” says Zacher. The annoyed person expresses his feelings (“I can barely concentrate”) and in the next step he expresses how he would like the situation to be.
Of course, it would be ideal if the colleague stopped whistling. But perhaps a compromise can be found and the colleague moves to an off-the-beaten-track office.
Formulate messages in the first person perspective
What’s important: If you let others in the business world know that they are driving you crazy, then you should always describe your messages from the first-person perspective, advises occupational psychologist Frank Berzbach. Because what troubles you so much, others don’t necessarily feel the same way.
And stepping up the conversation isn’t a good idea at all. “It’s best to ask the other side to think about what you want,” says Zacher.
Noise can trigger stress
More serenity in everyday working life is not always so easy to implement. “Noise can dramatically increase your stress level and make sure you get angry about the little things quicker,” says Frank Berzbach. Employees should therefore ensure that the work environment is as quiet as possible and clarify with their supervisors whether soundproof partition walls can be installed in an open-plan office.
“It has also been shown that more composure and emotional stability are acquired as we age,” says Hannes Zacher. You do not avoid difficult situations, but deal with them immediately openly, so that aggression cannot build up.
Zacher gives an example: An employee doesn’t like the fact that co-workers constantly leave used mugs lying around. In a group meeting, he can encourage everyone to put their used cups in the dishwasher as soon as possible so that clean ones are available the next day, which do not have to be laboriously rinsed by hand.
Another example: An employee is annoyed that team meetings are always this long. “Instead of his anger growing, he can take the initiative and discuss with his boss how to make those meetings easier,” says Zacher.
Attitude doesn’t matter: indifference is destructive
In any case, adopting an “it doesn’t matter” attitude is not a solution. “Indifference is destructive and poisons the working atmosphere,” says Frank Berzbach. This harms yourself and others.
What if it happens again that you get angry at work every day? In addition to taking deep breaths and counting to ten, switching places can also help. “Go out and walk around the block,” advises Hannes Zacher. Anyone who wants to stay at work can also actively engage in a completely different matter “to get away from the one point that makes you angry,” says Frank Berzbach.
Sometimes it also happens that colleagues or superiors have an outburst of anger. “Don’t scream now, but rather have a de-escalation effect on the other person,” advises occupational psychologist Zacher. This can be done with the words “I noticed you are angry, but I don’t want to communicate with you in that tone”. And then calmly get up and change your position.
