What is Rescuer Syndrome
People are not always in a hurry to sincerely help others. Sometimes help is just an exaggerated desire to feel needed. Such people are in the position of an eternal rescuer, says Valery Gut.
What does this mean? The American psychiatrist Stephen Karpman, in his famous concept of interaction between people, the “triangle of fate”, singled out three roles that people play:
Karpman said that the rescuer does not act out of love, but out of his selfish needs. Helping others, he thus solves some of his internal issues and receives benefits.
Most often, frustrated people become such rescuers. They strive not so much to improve someone’s life, but to assert oneself at the expense of others and feel one’s own importance. To “get” it, they try to look kind and smart: “I help others, because they live so wrong.” In 99 percent of cases, this is not help as such, but pride.
Another reason frustrated people help others is because unwillingness to deal with the difficulties in their own lives. Fear of solving their own problems pushes them to solve other people’s. This is the case when I don’t see a log in my own eye, but in others I see every straw. Such pseudo-care comes from the desire to reduce one’s own anxieties, problems, experiences, and so on.
