Once again, sexuality cannot be reduced to a mechanical problem. In the show Without appointment on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers a listener embarrassed by his episodic erection problems.
Bruno’s question
After 8 years of life as a couple and a sexuality made of ups and downs, at the moment we are rediscovering ourselves like never before with my wife. It’s great, but unfortunately I have erection problems from time to time. Yet my wife is more desirable than ever. What is happening to me ?
Catherine Blanc’s response
The problem of impotence accounts for the whole complexity of sexuality. It’s not just about working and hearing bodies. Everything can get tangled when the couple relationship becomes complex.
Why this fear of breakdown in men?
Erection is first of all a demand, a request for recognition. But as soon as the feeling of love enters the equation, things become more complicated and the question arises of the origin of desire. Was the erection a desire? Or was it the expression of a call for help and a need? In sexuality, we mix things up. As soon as a penis is erect we tend to simplify thinking that it is only the noble desire of a man for a woman, exciting to no end. But the situation in which the woman becomes desirous can be anxiety-provoking because the man has the feeling of having to live up to his expectations. As soon as she expresses her desires, she gives birth to an unconscious anguish of castration, of female domination over this male who until then had been powerful by his erection.
At what age do you risk having erection problems?
Erection problems can occur at all ages, so it is impossible to reduce sexuality to a mechanical issue. It’s also an emotional and relational story … and that’s where things get complicated. A young man has emotions and he can get tangled up in the contradictions in his relationship to the other. However, he is not helpless like an “old man on the verge of death”.
From how many breakdowns does the problem affect the relationship?
The problem is not so much the number or frequency of breakdowns as the timing of the relationship. Some couples may wait because it does not cause questioning. Others react because they quickly see a feeling of insecurity. It therefore becomes important to find a space for dialogue to remedy the problem.
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