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The Masking Dilemma: Finding the balance between protection and authenticity

Masking is a commonly-used term in the world of psychology that refers to the practice of suppressing or hiding one’s true thoughts or feelings for the sake of social acceptance or to avoid potential conflict. While masking may be a normal part of daily interactions, it can become a problem when individuals feel the need to constantly suppress their true selves, leading to negative consequences such as anxiety, depression, and loss of identity. In this article, we will explore the concept of masking, its potential negative effects, and how to recognize when it becomes problematic.


Being seen and accepted as our true selves can be both humbling and vulnerable, leaving us with conscious questions about how we will be perceived. We may ask ourselves if we will be liked, judged, understood, or if we can be ourselves around certain people. To avoid potential negative answers, many of us hide behind a version of ourselves that isn’t entirely genuine. We may suppress symptoms, alter our behavior, or hide our difficulties. This masking protects us from being hurt, misunderstood, or negatively targeted. Mary McHugh, founder, and CEO of Irish Counselling Online, calls this a common practice that provides a layer of protection, making us feel more at ease and confident.

Social masking is common, as we may feel the need to hide our true nature or capabilities in favor of more socially acceptable behaviors. We might also overcompensate and avoid showing our struggles or anxiety-related actions like fidgeting. Masking has advantages, such as portraying ourselves in an exaggerated light during an interview to represent ourselves positively. Ultimately, wearing a mask is a way to feel accepted and fit in with society, although this can stem from generational behavior and understanding.

However, masking can become our norm, leading us to a different version of ourselves around certain people. This alteration can affect our mental health and take time to unlearn. Being fully aware of masking is important to maintain our connection with ourselves and others authentically. The extra physical and mental effort required to mask can lead to exhaustion, relationship breakups, and mental health problems, such as anxiety and depression. To avoid burnout, it’s vital to find a balance, know our boundaries, and stay connected with ourselves. Unmasking means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, recognizing and appreciating ourselves, and granting ourselves the freedom to be who we are. It’s crucial to know when we’re in a safe space where we can unmask ourselves gradually, avoiding exhaustion from constantly wearing a mask.


In conclusion, masking can be a necessary coping mechanism for those who are neurodiverse or have experienced trauma. It allows individuals to navigate the social world and protect themselves from potential harm. However, it becomes an issue when it is the sole strategy for interacting with others, which can lead to burnout, mental health issues, and a lack of authenticity in relationships. It’s essential to recognize when masking is a problem and seek support and resources to navigate social situations in a way that feels authentic and sustainable. By embracing our true selves, we can cultivate deeper connections with those around us and improve our overall well-being.

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