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The Influence of Family on Relationships: A Personal Story

There is a saying: tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are. As it turned out, the same sometimes applies to relatives. It happens that when you communicate with a person, something about him confuses you, but you cannot understand what exactly. And then you meet his family and immediately understand what was going on.

I met Yegor more than a year ago. At first, I somehow didn’t plan to enter into a relationship with him. I don’t know myself, but on an intuitive level, something about this guy repelled me. But Egor took me with his persistence.

He looked after me for a very long time and persistently. From social networks I learned about everything I love. He gave peonies. I bought tickets to a performance that I haven’t been able to go to for three years. I wrote every day. He remembered everything I told him. He asked me to give him a chance, if not for a relationship, then at least for friendship. I agreed.

And after almost a year, I got to the point where we started dating. And I convinced myself that this was the right decision. All my relationships before Yegor began and ended the same way.

When I was very young and shy, I fell in love with unavailable guys. Who didn’t even notice me. But I was embarrassed to take the first step myself. So she lived, suffering from unrequited love.

Then I became older and more experienced. Men began to pay attention to me. But for some reason I still chose those with whom it was impossible to build a serious relationship. It was as if everyone understood this except me. Friends immediately warned:

– Ira, he’s a womanizer. Nothing serious will happen to him, they said about my next lover.


– Well, it’s written on his face that he hasn’t had enough fun with his friends yet, just like a child.

That’s how it turned out in the end. I also always seemed to love much more than me. And she invested everything in the relationship. While the partner seemed to allow himself to be loved.

But with Yegor it was the other way around. I thought, maybe if I start dating a person who pursues and loves me so much, it will make me happy.

Overall, everything was fine. And only one trait confused me about Yegor. His strange habit of bragging about the most banal things. No, I’m not saying that a person should be completely modest. You must be able to recognize your merits.

But Yegor presented even the most banal fact of his biography as an achievement on a planetary scale. For example, he told me for two hours that at school until the seventh grade he was the best in the geometry class. Well, I have a gold medal. But this is just a short biographical fact. And he talked about his geometry as if he had won the All-Russian Olympiad.

This is just one example. It was like that with everything. He could tell how girls practically threw themselves at him when he bought a car. Despite the fact that the car is ordinary. In general, over time, I realized that Yegor considers himself an eligible bachelor. I tried to prove to myself that this was just such a cute feature that I didn’t need to pay attention to.

But everything changed when I met his parents. I’ll say right away that this is a completely average family. Father works at a factory. It seems like the head of the workshop. Mother is the head nurse of the gastroenterology department in one of the hospitals in our city. They live in an ordinary apartment.

But from the threshold they looked at me appraisingly and with some kind of disdain. After almost five minutes of getting to know each other, they started asking me what my salary was, if I had my own home, car, and what my parents did.

It seemed to me that the questions were not entirely correct, but I answered anyway. That I’m renting a house, I don’t have a car, my mom is a housewife, and my dad is a doctor. She gave her salary figures.

“I see,” Yegor’s mother answered, somehow pursing her lips with contempt.

After that, he and his father began to praise in two voices what a promising young man Yegor was. And he works at a state enterprise with a full social package, and he has his own apartment. And the car too.

And somehow there was a hint that all sorts of cunning girls had already tried more than once to drag him down the aisle in order to take possession of such countless treasures.

I listened to this tirade to the end with a polite smile, after which, citing indigestion, I went home. Everything became clear to me.

By the way, Yegor’s apartment is an old one-room apartment that was renovated thirty years ago. The area is not bad, but the house is probably seventy years old. These have been demolished all over the city for a long time. His car is also a junked foreign car.

I didn’t specify about myself, some did.

That my salary is like this because I am doing an internship at a new place of work. And in a month it will be three and a half times more. I don’t have a car because I didn’t test my license. I am studying now. As soon as I rent it out, my father will buy it. By the way, he is the chief doctor in his own dental clinic. And I rent an apartment from my own grandmother. She and I agreed that I would pay her rent so that she would have an increase in her pension. The grandmother herself moved to a private house outside the city a couple of years ago.

But Yegor’s parents will never know about this. Because I no longer want to have anything in common with either them or Yegor.

The section “Readers’ Opinions” publishes materials from readers.

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