What will be the future of Latvia – of course, it is difficult to predict, but it is clear that today’s children will play a huge role in it. It is one of the most vulnerable groups in society, who cannot grow up to be a responsible and full-fledged member of society without the involvement of caring adults. Unfortunately, almost every fifth child in Latvia experiences various difficulties in growing up, the cause of which is often found in violent experiences. Meanwhile, the system deals with the consequences (for example, placing the young person under supervised surveillance) instead of solving the root of the problem (providing timely psychological support so that the crime is not committed).
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In order to prevent problems while the child is growing up, it is important to provide early prevention from the day of birth: loving and respectful parental interaction with their child, creating a secure attachment and building strong relationships where clear boundaries are established . There are no perfect parents, but we can be good enough, but we must be aware that we are responsible for our children. No less important is what adults understand by the word “violence”. In my experience running parent support groups, physical and sexual abuse is recognized by adults, but emotional abuse is often overlooked, but is one of the most potent forms of abuse.
According to a child psychiatrist Nikita Bezborodov, working with adolescents is easier because unacceptable behavior or behavior during adolescence can be related to the storms of puberty, in which case it can be corrected. But if a preschooler falls into the hands of a psychiatrist, it is very difficult to work, because at this stage of life the parental model of behavior takes root and manifests itself extremely strongly in children. If the child has not developed a secure bond with the parents and no boundaries have been drawn in the upbringing, the consequences will be noticeable as soon as the child enters society, a preschool educational institution or a sandbox right in the backyard. Depending on what the child has experienced, he will be fearful and hide or, conversely, he will be aggressive and show positions of physical and verbal power. Nothing will change during the school years either. If a child is hit at home, it obviously won’t hit his parents – they are adults. However, there is nothing to stop hitting younger children at school. Meeting the same friends will form dangerous companies. But beatings and fights will bring you to the attention of law enforcement sooner or later.
Very often, the parents’ emotional and physical abuse of the child go hand in hand – where there is one, there is almost certainly the other. Also, swearing and slapping a child is not considered violence at all. However, the child’s train of thought goes like this: “if it was done to me, then it’s normal that it does it to others too.” Struggle is rarely the central issue, mostly integrating only theft, damage to property, vandalism and the use of addictive substances, the prevalence of which among children has especially increased during Covid-19. The reasons are various, but above all they are anger, an attempt to challenge, a demonstration of power. Many young people want it in their teens stands out in front of someone and act in accordance with the rules of subcultures or groups of friends without thinking about the consequences. If the possible consequences are not discussed in the family, the child cannot imagine them. The saddest thing about this chain of events is that the adults blame the child, even if his unacceptable behavior is only the result of the adults’ actions or irresponsibility.
There is no shortage of good examples in Latvia, where efforts to engage in prevention bring positive results. I definitely want to mention the work of the State Probation Service and the Adolescent Resource Center, the activities of the Interdepartmental Coordination Center for Establishing an Early Preventive Support System, the center “Darze“the support program for victims of sexual and emotional violence, the educational work successfully carried out by the “Marta” center and by the organization”Fern flower“, which talks about sexuality and the physical and psycho-emotional consequences of sexual violence in a language that children and young people understand. However, Latvia needs much wider systemic support for parents. Most importantly, it would be a more accessible parent support groups, but we could certainly draw on good practice from other European countries as well.
It is important to work with the family as a whole. An example of such an approach is the multidimensional family therapy program, the effectiveness of which has been demonstrated in numerous countries around the world (for example, Finland, the Netherlands, Lithuania, Estonia and Australia). This approach involves systematic, long-term and purposeful work of therapists with the child in his everyday environment, as well as with the people closest to the child – parents or guardians, involving educators, friends and acquaintances of the child. A sustainable outcome can only be achieved by creating a safe, informed and supportive environment for the child.
Board member of the Latvian Child Welfare Network attended the closing conference of the Nordic project ‘First 1000 Days’ in Reykjavík. Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Iceland participated in the Nordic project. The aim of this project was to evaluate the impact of the first 1000 days of a child’s life (from conception to 2 years of age) on lifelong mental health and well-being, in order to provide comprehensive support to parents by identifying the risk factors, improve services, strengthen inter-institutional cooperation and promote research and knowledge of the first 1000 days. 1000 days are only an apparently long time, in reality they are the first years of a child’s life, when the attachment between the parents and the child is formed and the first experience of the surrounding world. Such support would be especially relevant for mothers who didn’t really want a child, don’t have the skills to care for a child, so no attachment is formed. By educating and supporting mothers, starting from the moment of pregnancy, they can succeed in building a completely different relationship, much closer with their child, and the little one grows up more secure, with no tendency towards violence.
Schools, on the other hand, could contribute to the work with children, as happens, for example, in some educational institutions in Belgium, by replacing the classroom lesson with lessons for learning practical knowledge and skills such as communication skills, resolution of conflicts, courage to change, stand up for yourself, acceptance of diversity. One must realize that one day children will become parents themselves, and then it will be important what they can teach their children. If mom or dad beat up a child for crimes, because they don’t know how to do anything else, because their own family didn’t teach them anything else, because the only way they know how to live and earn a living is to use and sell intoxicating substances, it is probable that this model of behavior is also adopted by the child. .
Even in the public sphere, much more should be said about the fact that prevention begins the moment a child is born. And it’s not an abstract system that provides this prevention: it’s the family, but the system can support the family. If the child’s actions or behavior are not acceptable, it is not necessary to condemn the child, but to watch the adults who raise him. The vast majority – about 80 percent – of parent support group participants are truly surprised that education, discipline, positive feedback, and constructive criticism are the foundation of prevention. If the child gets professional help, so do parents struggling to deal with their childhood traumas. Unfortunately there is much resistance and most of the time parents are involved in therapy only when the question of suspending the right to treatment and removing the child from the family has already been raised. This experience shows that society still cannot do without the indications of the institutions and the word “compulsory”.
I think at least two more generations need to change to get into a different rhythm and start consciously fighting the causes of problems, not the consequences.
