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by Kester Schlenz
May 23, 2021, 5:29 pm
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Actually wanted stern-Author Kester Schlenz and his wife just take a quick look at the ESC. Then they got stuck – and later their sons joined them. A protocol.
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Is: We can take a look at the ESC.
You: OK. Nothing else works.
Wow … look, with an audience.
All tested, I heard. It is a scientific attempt.
Really? Not that everyone now calls their spontaneous party that.
Lauterbach has already protested.
He should appear there too. As Karl Cassandra or something.
Mit dem Song “Inzi-Dancing”
It starts.
Ah, Peter Urban comments again: “The Voice”
Without him, you can no longer imagine it.
I knew you were saying that. Like every year.
Listen: Cyprus sounds really like Lady Gaga.
Doesn’t work at all. One more beer?
Bring it on.
Look at Albania …
Na, ja…
The one from Israel is cute. But the song …
So far, that doesn’t knock me off my stool …
Are there any pretzel sticks left?
I stashed it here with me.
What kind of crap is that?
Belgium.
Totally desolate.
Look … the Russian …
Funny how she rolls across the stage in this huge babushka dress.
But the song, well.
Do we prefer to netflix?
One or two songs left …
Wow, Malta. Full of soul. Exits. The first good song.
And she should only be 18?
Look at the rascals there. Portugal.
But the song. The finest blues. And the guitar solo. I’m melting away
It gets a lot better. We stay tuned, okay?
Already.
Now comes Serbia.
Simone Thomalla is Serbian?
Yes, that’s right. The one in the middle looks like that.
The song is dreary dozen of goods.
It’s England’s turn.
Catastrophe. It sings like Brexit incarnate.
Furniture park opening level!
What has happened to this great pop nation?
Oh, look …, the Greek woman walks through the air.
But that’s the only impressive thing about this song.
The Swiss definitely won’t do it either.
Wait … awesome. Goose bumps. Great voice. Hypnotic song.
Yes, great.
The most convincing so far
Ah … now Iceland.
They have Corona.
And why are they there?
Is just the video from the sample.
Wacky. Very sympathic.
You always say that about the Icelanders.
Always true.
The Spaniard starts well.
Wait.
Poops. The change in pace is annoying. Overloaded.
Right.
Oh please … the one from Moldova can’t sing at all.
For frightening eggs.
Son 1 via WhatsApp: Are you watching ESC?
You: Yes, you too?
Son 1: Clear. Albania was very soulful.
Er: Did you paint soak?
Son 1: I meant Malta …
You: The yes …
He: Here comes our Jendrik.
Why does he keep shaking his head so stupidly?
Nice, crazy boy.
Son 1: Why is there a big hand dancing?
You: I don’t know.
Er: Swing aber.
Still no chance.
Son 1: I’ll get back.
You: Since the Finns …
Wow … hard rock. Like Lordi back then.
Very official.
The Finn likes things dark.
Did you hear what Peter Urban just said?
No…
“The roof in the arena rises. I’m not there. But I can feel it anyway.”
He’s sitting at the NDR in Hamburg …
Urban is now hypersensitive. Like an earthquake warning center.
But he’s making up for it.
Yes, but…
Touching, the Bulgarian. Bow to sick papa.
Nice song too.
Billie Eilish for the poor.
Don’t be so mean.
Son 1 via WhatsApp: Sounds like Billie Eilish doesn’t it?
Both: Yes.
Son 2 via WhatsApp: Sweet how you comment on the ESC.
You: Are you looking too?
Nope. I’m outside a bar in Berlin with Niklas. I can do it again.
He: Look too.
Son 2: A television is on in the bar. But I just see people in strange costumes jumping around and always climbing pillars of fire somewhere.
He: A very good summary for the ESC.
Son 2: Take care. We continue to drink now.
You: Bye, my boy. Do not push it.
Son 2: Mom, I’m 27 …
Son 1: It never stops, brother …
He: Look, those yellow guys from Lithuania.
They dance well.
Stylish. I like it.
Ah … now … Ukraine. Kind of strange.
So what is that?
She has a green coat on and calls out weird things.
But that’s something. Goes off like Helmut Schmidt’s cat.
Yes, absolutely good. Ehtno flute groove.
Now it’s France’s turn … They are almost never good.
But starts well.
Yes indeed. Pleasantly minimalist: a woman. A headlight. And the voice.
Goose bumps!
I don’t really like chansons. But the song blows you away.
Hammer. That wins.
Wait…
Azerbaijan has taken the stage …
“Mata Hari” is the name of the song.
Wasn’t she Dutch?
No matter. The name just sounds good.
Quite the opposite of this song.
Whoa, I ate all the pretzel sticks.
The Norwegian there now, he has Tourette …
Ah, that’s why he’s called Tix.
Not bad. Nice melody, but stupid costumes. White and black angels.
I still give it a good place.
Okay.
Good goodness: The Dutchman there now, he dumplings like Kermit.
Indeed. The host country messes up the performance.
Now comes Italy.
They are considered favorites …
Italy? Really?
Well, let’s see.
Wow – they look like from the 70s. Glam rocker.
Hammer guitar riff.
It starts from.
Really good. Make it louder.
Nirwana meets Thin Lizzy!
Rock from Rome! I am flattened.
They could win!
Absolutely.
Now Sweden!
Sounds nice. Good song.
But kind of harmless.
Exactly. Compared to the Rock Romans.
It’ll be over soon.
Neither San Marino.
Where is that actually?
Uh …
Peter Urban says that ten authors wrote the song.
That’s never a good thing. Lots of cooks …
Indeed – this is the usual mashed ESC pulp.
But the headgear is good.
So, we’re through. We’re not waiting for the count anymore, are we?
Son 1 via WhatsApp: Are you still waiting for the count?
You: Dad is tired.
Not at all. Since the Italians, I’ve been fully back. The costumes, the long hair … It reminds me of my youth.
Son 1: You had a meat cap early on, papa.
You come home to me …
(Early Sunday morning …)
Man, that was exciting. I never would have thought.
What? That the Italians win?
No, I’m staying up so long today …
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See in the video: The ESC 2021 is history – and what a great one. Star reporter Edgars Noskovs was also there. Take a look behind the scenes with him – from the preparations to the cheering of the winners from Italy.
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