Illness and the return to the light – memories of Āras Liepiņš in the book
Āris Liepiņš is the son of the actors of the Daile theater, Mudīte Šneideres and Hari Liepiņš. Those who knew him describe him as a kind, warm and very empathetic person who had a great sense of black humor and also a great talent as an actor, although he was not interested in acting himself.
However, the best years of his youth were spent in the shadow of a severe mental illness. His life broke at the age of 19 and from being young and strong he turned into a depressed, hopeless and listless being, becoming a regular resident of a psychiatric hospital.
After 12 years he still managed to defeat the disease, to come back to life fully, and later, with the passage of time, he decided to immortalize his experience on paper as well.
“That time when the soul suffered incessantly and was sick belongs to the past”, with these words Āris Liepiņš introduces his book “Return. To the light”. “Twelve years of darkness, when all hope of living fully was lost. When I was forbidden to decide anything for myself. When there was no life. The pain has passed and has become distant. What remains are immutable memories that they both come back in thoughts and nightmares. “
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Journalist and writer Inga Jēruma organized the memories of Āras Liepiņš. The two got to know each other better when she wrote the book “Children of the Theater” and shortly after, Aris from Scotland sent her his lyrics, says Inga Jēruma: “She sent me those notes and said:” Read and please tell me what you think. “I read and said I already think it’s a printable book, it just needs to put on a little more weight. He said,” Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ll do it myself. ” I am offered the option that he could write under a pseudonym, but he said it was not necessary, because he is not afraid of the opening and has nothing to hide. “
Unfortunately, Āris died last year without finishing what he had written, but Inga Jēruma sent her a manuscript, which she deemed worthy of publication, and she edited the book herself. He was also supported by Ára’s mother, actress Mudīte Schneider, who wrote the book’s introduction and conclusion.
Photo: Photograph in Āras Liepiņš’s book “Back. To the light”
Inga Jēruma refers to what Āras wrote as the Latvian version of the famous book and film “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, and Āris himself admitted in the book that what was depicted in the film is very close to the truth. In the book he shares his thoughts on the causes of his illness, which, in his opinion, are closely related to his father’s alcohol addiction, he writes very openly about the daily life of a psychiatric hospital, doctors, staff and patients, treatment modalities and punishments at which patients are also subjected to.
He doesn’t even miss the story of his darkest day, when he decided to end his life by drinking a triple lethal dose of medicine, and also of his miraculous rescue and the meaningful dream in which he met Pope John Paul II, says Inga Jēruma: “Last year he stopped drinking medicine, maybe he cleansed his body in this way to a great extent and through that he got a surge of strength. But of course there are also inexplicable things, even suicide itself. Lots of it. doctors also told him that he shouldn’t have stayed alive with such doses of medicines, or at least he should have totally damaged his organism, but nothing of the sort happened. Well, and after all this dream too … Not everyone sees the Pope of Rome in a dream, and not everyone says something, however it was such a push, I think, upwards, that he also understood that he had to fight and do everything to not remain this chronically ill, the eternal patient. “
Āris Liepiņš writes in the book about his path back to light: “Not immediately and not so soon, however, after this crisis and breaking point in my life, I slowly and gradually began to recover. I also chose to be baptized after everything I lived. As I joked – when it was gone possible to be worse, Dievins said as if: “See, you asked and I heard and answered. So that you feel – I Am! “”
Photo: Photograph in Āras Liepiņš’s book “Back. To the light”
This very personal experience and the true example that it is possible to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation is one of the values of the book, which can empower others, according to Inga Jēruma: “It’s about the fate you fight with. And many leave and die. , as you know, or they stay there. He stood up, and maybe this very ability of Aar to fight can help someone. And that there is no situation you can’t at least try to get out of. Sure, there are fatal things. He already says it himself: I was lucky, not everyone is lucky. Many people come out of that hole, but there is not enough strength, not enough help or something else. “
Āris closes the book by thanking everyone who helped him, highlighting in particular his parents, friends, colleagues, doctors and even Dievpalīgas. Here is another quote from his book:
“I know in advance that there will be a lot of pain and sadness, despair and despair in what I have told. Is it worth it? Probably many will learn something new that belongs to life, something that is sometimes rumored, that intrigues and frightens, which takes place behind closed doors, which many imagine far from the truth.
The greatest satisfaction for me will be if what I have preached helps someone to return to the life of a healthy person, just as I have. “
In the afterword of the book, the author’s close friend, Dr. Sandis Stepiņš, called the book not only the author’s recollections, but also a very vivid and serious testimony of the time.
