–
A new home again? It is not uncommon for children to be upset and disappointed when a big move is due.
Foto: Getty Images
When we packed all our belongings in 2014, we didn’t know how long our adventure in Berlin should last. I longed for freedom despite having children and dreamed of Berlin playgrounds, international acquaintances, state-subsidized Montessori day-care centers, inspiration from imperfectionism and of finding space to rearrange myself.
Back to Zurich again?
Three years passed by in a flash. Our big daughter M. started school with a bag of sugar and bric-a-brac, and her little sister had fully arrived at everyday life in Berlin and refused to speak Swiss German. We were fully integrated and moved like fish in water in Berlin. When the big reorganization in my husband’s office was announced, it hit us all, but in very different ways. Of course we missed our family and friends in Switzerland, the mountains and the public fire. But back to Zurich? Right? For my husband it was the Option because he had been homesick for a long time, which incidentally was known as a typical Swiss disease in the 17th century and has to do with missing the mountains. For me it was only half an hour and for our big daughter, who was now seven years old, absolutely not an option. And the youngest was only interested in Easter eggs at the moment.
“New beginning” in an endless loop
In the end, there were a lot of facts in favor of “withdrawing” to Switzerland as the best solution. And so we moved from Berlin back to Zurich at the same speed as we did to Berlin three years ago. For the last few weeks before the move, I howled heaps of snowballs every day, which scattered all over the apartment but didn’t melt. They were just crumpled handkerchiefs. I heard Clueso’s song “New Beginning” in an endless loop and posted pictures on Instagram with the hashtag #derhimmelweint. I was lovesick and couldn’t help it. Even my husband, who knows my drama very well, was amazed at this violent reaction.
Back in the perfect world
We put M. off with a separate room in the new old home. She suffered, had to cry every evening and wanted to go back to our old Berlin apartment. She was angry and disappointed that we had already exposed her to a new situation. Your first heartache. She missed her school and her friends. And she questioned our decision. Every few days she wrote a letter to her friends in Berlin. With a gloomy expression and pragmatic hand movements, she stuck the 1.50 postage stamp on and then threw her messages of suffering into the mailbox in front of her new school.
Getting started there wasn’t easy; Cultures collided. When we asked in the first conversation where we should get the teaching material, the school administration looked at us with big eyes. Not at all, they answered. We were back in the ideal world. In the comfort zone. In Switzerland. But this time I appreciated and appreciated it. Every single pencil, every caring conversation with the school social worker and later, when our little daughter started school, I felt tears of emotion at how carefully and lovingly handicrafts, singing and teaching were carried out.
I am deeply grateful for this experience and for every hour in Berlin. Homesickness in both directions has shaped us and sharpened our eyes. It is precisely this complexity that defines it. Both cities and countries have their advantages and disadvantages. And missing always offers a chance to re-appreciate everyday things. The correspondence didn’t last long, but the friendships. I have made up with Zurich and now I see the advantages, even with children. M. never speaks of Berlin again, but our little one emphasizes that she is a Berlin child. In Swiss German, of course.