Dialog Breakdown Fuels Rising Divorce Rates

Lack of communication stands out as a primary factor in marital breakdowns, with couples often feeling unheard or misunderstood. According to divorce lawyer Sharon Chandra, this issue frequently surfaces during parenthood, leading to separation once children leave home.

The Growing Trend of “Grey Divorce”

Chandra notes an increase in couples divorcing after 25 to 30 years of marriage. These couples frequently enough wait until their children are old enough to handle the separation, such as after high school or the start of university.

She explains, “I think it comes about as a result of growing apart and then becoming different people to the people that they were when they married.” Frequently enough, couples stay together for their children’s sake, later deciding the time is right to divorce.

Underlying Factors Leading to Divorce

many factors contribute to the ultimate decision to divorce. Chandra explains that even events like infidelity are often the “straw that breaks the camel’s back,” preceded by numerous issues.

Difficult situations, such as lockdown or affairs, can exacerbate existing relationship problems, leading couples to feel unable to continue. Chandra frequently encounters clients who feel unappreciated, with either partner neglecting to show value in the relationship.

The Importance of Relationship Maintenance

Chandra emphasizes that “A marriage is like any relationship that you manage; your relationship with your family, your relationship with your friends, with your colleagues, with your business partner, with your spouse. The same rules apply to all the different types of relationships. You want to communicate and be transparent, you want to show that you care about that person and take an interest in their lives.”

Showing care, interest, and making sacrifices are vital for maintaining strong relationships, according to Chandra.

Seeking Help Through Communication Counseling

Chandra advises couples experiencing growing distance to seek communication counseling, regardless of whether they are considering divorce. She often recommends counseling to clients unsure about staying in the relationship, as it provides a forum to air concerns without interruption or stress.

While counseling may not always resolve issues, it can help both individuals feel heard. “Often, having a third party or a counsellor present can help to create a forum for couples to communicate and air out their issues. It’s not always effective, and it might potentially be that a couple still decide to separate after going through that process, but it can be quite effective.” says Chandra.