The Rise of “Good Person” distress: How self-Compassion can Untangle Moral Scrupulosity
A growing number of individuals are finding themselves paralyzed by an unrelenting need to be “good,” a condition known as moral scrupulosity that can escalate into debilitating anxiety and obsessive behaviors. While a strong moral compass is generally considered a virtue,for those grappling with scrupulosity,it transforms into a source of profound distress,impacting daily life and mental wellbeing. Experts are increasingly recognizing the condition – often linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) – and offering strategies for managing its grip, with self-compassion emerging as a powerful tool.
Moral scrupulosity isn’t simply about having high ethical standards. It’s characterized by an excessive and intrusive preoccupation with moral failings, often involving a fear of having committed a sin or done something wrong, even in the absence of any objective evidence. This can manifest as compulsive confession, repeated apologies, or relentless self-criticism. Individuals may fixate on minor actions, interpreting them as grave moral offenses, and experience notable anxiety until they’ve performed rituals to “undo” the perceived harm.
“It’s a especially insidious form of OCD because it targets something people value – being a good person,” explains dr. Patrick Skerrett,a clinical psychologist specializing in OCD and scrupulosity.”The irony is that the very striving for moral perfection actually prevents them from living a fulfilling life.”
Fortunately, treatment options are available. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), particularly Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is considered the gold standard for OCD and can be adapted to address moral scrupulosity. However, a growing body of research highlights the benefits of incorporating self-compassion practices.
Kristin Neff and Chris Germer, leading researchers in the field of self-compassion, have developed techniques to cultivate kindness towards oneself, recognizing that imperfection is a universal aspect of the human experience. Their work has proven particularly helpful for individuals struggling with scrupulosity, offering a counterpoint to the harsh self-judgment that fuels the cycle of anxiety. Neff and Germer also run the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion (https://centerformsc.org/), offering an eight-week course designed to build a self-compassion practice.
Beyond therapeutic interventions, philosophical inquiry is also offering new perspectives. Thomas Nagel, known for his work on consciousness, explores the role of religion in providing meaning and purpose in his essay, “Secular Philosophy and the Religious Temperament.” His work prompts reflection on how secular frameworks can address basic questions about the nature of the universe and how individuals can live ethically within it.
Furthermore, the limitations of algorithmic solutions to ethical dilemmas are being debated. Philosopher Elad Uzan, drawing on Kurt Gödel’s incompleteness theorems, argues in an Aeon essay (https://aeon.co/essays/what-godels-incompleteness-theorems-say-about-ai-morality) that AI cannot definitively solve ethical problems,as morality inherently contains complexities that defy algorithmic resolution. This underscores the importance of human judgment, tempered with self-awareness and compassion.
For those caught in the throes of moral scrupulosity, the path to relief lies in recognizing the condition, seeking professional help, and cultivating a more compassionate relationship with oneself - acknowledging that striving to be good doesn’t require perfection, but rather a commitment to growth, understanding, and self-acceptance.
