A Journey of Remembrance: Man Carries Father’s Ashes Across Canada, 23 Years Later
Vancouver, BC – For many, a road trip is a chance to escape, explore, and create new memories. But for Joris Brys, a recent journey across Canada was a poignant pilgrimage, a way to reconnect with the past and honour the memory of his father. Twenty-three years after his initial trip, taken shortly after his father’s passing, Brys returned to Canada, this time carrying his father’s ashes.
The journey, documented for a radio and television program, began in Vancouver, a city that held special significance for Brys. It was here, in a humble hostel, that his first Canadian adventure began. “Those were really pigs. But they have become good friends, just a week,” Brys recalled, reflecting on the camaraderie he found with fellow travelers.”They did not know that my dad had only just died. And I didn’t need to tell that. It felt good that it wasn’t a subject.”
This initial trip, taken just a month after his father’s funeral, was a bold step towards healing. “A month after the funeral I found the power to make the trip to Canada, with my dad in the backpack,” Brys explained.However, the passage of time can be a cruel reminder of change. Upon revisiting the hostel with Siska Schoeters, Brys was met with a stark reality: the building was burned out, abandoned, a shadow of its former self. “In my head it used to be much nicer here. Maybe I made it myself because I experienced a good time here,” he lamented. “I always find that arduous with everything in life: time passes,things pass,people fall away. I can’t handle that. Every day I think of the perishable of life. Even now: I am so nostalgic that this does somthing to me.” This experience underscores a worldwide feeling – the bittersweet realization that the past, however cherished, can never be fully recaptured.
The journey continued towards the majestic rocky Mountains, a landscape that seemed to amplify Brys’ emotions. As Siska played a ben Howard album, a record deeply connected to his previous trip in 2012, Brys felt a sense of openness and connection. “I think I imposed that record three or four times a day in his completeness when I was here in 2012,” he said. “I feel open. By being on my way to the mountains and hearing the music. Then I had that too.” The music, combined with the stunning scenery, created a space for reflection and remembrance.
The presence of his father was palpable, especially when the sun broke through the clouds. This feeling of connection is a common experience for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Many find solace in nature, feeling closer to those they’ve lost amidst the beauty and grandeur of the natural world.
For Brys, even the act of flying triggers a connection with his father. “I have a bit of fear of flying. Since my dad is no longer there,I have a certain superstition. When the plane rises, I have to see the air. For me it is as if I make contact with my dad and ask him to protect me. In my head I see him lifting the plane with his hand, and then put it safely on the ground again.” This personal ritual highlights the unique ways individuals cope with grief and find comfort in the face of fear.
Despite the years that have passed, the pain of his father’s absence remains. The thought of his father missing out on future milestones, like seeing his grandchildren grow up, is a constant source of sorrow. “I frequently enough imagine that scenario in. That the hospital door opens and my mum arrives, and that my dad is not there and that the door closes afterwards. I am afraid of that moment. It has been in my head for years,” he confessed. “We will see each other again. But not now.”
Brys’ journey is a powerful reminder that grief is a lifelong process. It’s a testament to the enduring bond between a father and son, and the lengths we go to keep the memory of loved ones alive. His story resonates with anyone who has experienced loss,offering a glimpse into the complexities of grief and the healing power of remembrance.
Key Takeaways for U.S. Readers:
Grief is Universal: Brys’ experience highlights the universal nature of grief, irrespective of nationality or background.
Finding Meaning in Travel: Travel can be a powerful tool for healing and self-discovery, especially after loss.
The Enduring Power of Memory: Remembering loved ones and honoring their memory is a vital part of the grieving process.
Personal Rituals and Coping Mechanisms: Individuals develop unique ways to cope with grief, and these rituals can provide comfort and connection.
Additional Insights:
The Role of Music in Grief: Music can be a powerful trigger for memories and emotions, providing a sense of connection to the past.
The Impact of Time on Grief: Grief evolves over time, but the pain of loss can remain, especially when considering missed milestones.
* The Importance of Support Systems: While Brys’ journey was personal, having supportive friends and family can be crucial in navigating grief.
Potential Counterarguments:
Some might argue that carrying ashes is an unconventional or even morbid way to grieve. However, Brys’ story demonstrates that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. What matters is finding a way to honor the memory of the deceased and find peace in the process.
Conclusion:
Joris Brys’ journey across Canada is more than just a travelogue; it’s a deeply personal exploration of grief,memory,and the enduring bond between a father and son. His story serves as a reminder that grief is a lifelong process, and that finding ways to connect with the past can be a powerful step towards healing.
Table: Grief Resources in the U.S.
| Organization | Description | Website |
|---|---|---|
| The Dougy Center | National Center for Grieving Children & Families | dougy.org |
| National Alliance for Children’s Grief | Provides resources and support for grieving children and teens. | childrengrieve.org |
| GriefShare | A network of grief support groups across the U.S. | griefshare.org |
Ashes on teh Road: How Travel and Remembrance Shape Our Grief Journey
Senior Editor, world-today-news.com: Dr. Emily Carter, thank you for joining us today. The story of Joris Brys carrying his father’s ashes across Canada resonated deeply with me. It’s a profound look at grief.To start, is it common for peopel to find solace and connection through travel, especially when honoring the memory of a loved one?
Dr.emily Carter, Grief Counselor and Thanatologist: Absolutely. Travel can be incredibly therapeutic in the grieving process.Many find that a journey—weather it’s a cross-country road trip like Joris’s, a visit to a special location, or even a local hike—offers a unique possibility to process loss. The act of movement, of being in a new environment, can be remarkably freeing. It creates space for reflection, allowing individuals to connect with their emotions and memories in a fresh context. The change of scenery can also be a powerful distraction, providing a break from the intensity of grief while still honoring the deceased.
Senior Editor: Joris revisited places that were significant to him and his father. How does revisiting places, and perhaps finding that things have changed, impact the grieving process?
dr. Carter: It’s a complex experiance. Revisiting places of meaning can be both gorgeous and challenging. As Joris experienced, seeing a place in a different state—perhaps changed, abandoned, or no longer there—can highlight the passage of time and the permanence of loss. This can trigger feelings of nostalgia, sadness, and even frustration. It can be arduous when the external world doesn’t match the internal memories we hold. However, this juxtaposition can also be a catalyst for acceptance. Recognizing that change is inevitable can be a part of the healing journey. It’s crucial to remember that memories aren’t tied to a physical location. Instead, thay exist within us.
Senior Editor: The use of music also played a significant role in Joris’s journey. How can elements such as music, nature, or even rituals help in the grieving process?
Dr. Carter: These elements can be incredibly beneficial. Music, like the Ben Howard albums played during Joris’s trip, can serve as a powerful trigger for memories and emotions. It provides a soundtrack to the grieving process allowing for reflection. Nature can be a soothing presence, offering a sense of peace and connection. The vastness of the mountains, the quiet of a forest, or even the sound of the ocean waves can create a space for introspection and comfort. Personal rituals, as Joris demonstrates with his fear of flying, can provide a sense of control and connection. These rituals help individuals feel closer to their loved ones and provide moments of solace during a challenging time.
Senior editor: His story highlights the enduring bond between a father and son. Are there particular ways in which the relationship between a parent and child influences the experience of grief?
Dr. Carter: The bond between a parent and child is frequently enough one of the strongest in the human experience, so the loss of a parent creates a profound emotional impact. The nature of the relationship—whether it was close, intricate, or even strained—shapes the grieving process. The depth of love, the shared experiences, and the unmet expectations all contribute to the individual’s experience of loss. Frequently enough there are deep feelings and childhood attachments that need to be resolved.The parent-child relationship frequently enough symbolizes life cycles, future dreams, and legacies. The death of a parent can trigger a reevaluation of these concepts. for adult children,the parent’s passing can also bring about feelings of role reversal if the child becomes the last remaining of their immediate family,or an ‘orphan.’
Senior Editor: Joris frequently enough expressed his fear of his father missing future significant milestones. how can we navigate the pain of missed milestones while grieving the loss of a loved one?
Dr. Carter: It’s a difficult part of grief,and it’s crucial to acknowledge those feelings. The pain of missing milestones—weddings, graduations, the birth of grandchildren—is very real. There’s a great sense of what the deceased ‘should have been’ able to witness. Ways to deal with this pain include:
Creating new traditions: Honor your loved one’s memory by creating and celebrating traditions at each milestone.
Sharing memories: Share stories and keep them involved in the life events, as if they were there.
Journaling or letter-writing: Writing letters to express your feelings.
Senior Editor: The journey across Canada was a powerful testament of remembrance. Can you share a few suggestions for our readers to honor and remember their loved ones?
Dr. Carter: Absolutely. Here are a few suggestions:
Create a memory box or album: Collect photos, letters, and other mementos.
Share stories and memories: talk about your loved one with family and friends; keep their story alive.
Engage in activities they enjoyed: Pursue hobbies,share their art,or visit places they loved.
Perform acts of service in their name: Volunteer for their favourite causes, or support a charity they cared for.
Allow yourself to feel: Acknowledge your emotions, and don’t be afraid to seek support.
Senior Editor: Thank you dr. Carter.this was a profoundly insightful conversation. Joris Brys’ story, and your expert viewpoint, offers guidance to those navigating grief. How can our readers continue this journey of remembrance and healing?
Dr. Carter: This story illustrates that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.The most important thing is to find a way to honor your loved one and to allow yourself space and time to heal. If you’d like to extend your learning on this topic, here are resources for U.S. readers.
| Organization | description | Website |
|---|---|---|
| The Dougy Center | National Center for Grieving Children & Families | dougy.org |
| National Alliance for Children’s Grief | Provides resources and support for grieving children and teens. | childrengrieve.org |
| GriefShare | A network of grief support groups across the U.S. | griefshare.org |
Senior Editor: Thank you, Dr. Carter! For our readers, what resonated with you most about Joris Brys’s journey? Share your thoughts, experiences, and how you’ve found ways to honor those you’ve lost in the comments below. Let’s continue the conversation and support each other on this journey of remembrance.
