Holiday Stressors Linked to Core Personality Traits, But Change is Possible, Experts Say
NEW YORK, NY – December’s festive cheer often masks a surge in stress and burnout, and emerging research suggests a key ingredient in that recipe isn’t just packed schedules, but deeply ingrained personality traits. A combination of high agreeableness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism can significantly amplify holiday pressures, leading to exhaustion and emotional strain, according to a recent analysis of personality psychology. Though, experts emphasize that these traits aren’t fixed, and intentional behavioral shifts can offer relief.
The article, drawing on decades of research, explains how these “Big Five” personality traits interact during the holiday season. High agreeableness can lead individuals to overcommit to social obligations and struggle to set boundaries, prioritizing harmony over personal well-being. Concurrently, high conscientiousness fuels a drive for perfection, turning gift-giving, decorating, and meal preparation into sources of anxiety. high neuroticism intensifies the emotional weight of these pressures, magnifying feelings of stress and overwhelm.
“December can feel heavier if you’re high in one of these traits, two of them, or the whole trio,” the article states. “High agreeableness pulls you toward smoothing conflict, high conscientiousness pushes you toward perfection, and high neuroticism amplifies all the emotions in the background.”
But the news isn’t all bleak. Contrary to the long-held belief that personality is immutable, research demonstrates traits can shift over time, both naturally with age (Roberts et al., 2006) and through deliberate effort (hudson & Fraley, 2015). The article outlines three key strategies for “adjusting your trait settings” during December:
- Challenge Underlying Beliefs: Identify and reframe automatic thoughts that contribute to overcommitment, such as “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right,” replacing them with more balanced perspectives like ”People enjoy me more when I’m not tired.”
- Practice Tiny Behavioral Shifts: Instead of relying on willpower, focus on small, repeated actions that align with desired changes. For example, pausing before agreeing to new commitments (for those high in agreeableness), lowering standards for a single task (for those high in conscientiousness), or practicing staying present during uncomfortable interactions (for those high in neuroticism).
- Embrace Repetition: Recognise that consistent practice is crucial for lasting change. Each time a new behaviour is chosen, it reinforces the desired personality shift, counteracting ingrained patterns.
The article emphasizes that these changes aren’t about fundamentally altering who you are, but about consciously managing the expression of your traits.
The author, who shares a personal experience of reducing holiday burnout by implementing these strategies, also works on developing “evidence-based tools for intentional personality change.” “I’m not the woman who hosted six meals in 48 hours with a 6-month-old anymore,” she writes. “That shift didn’t happen by accident.”
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