New Motherhood’s Harsh Reality Revealed in Raw Memoir

Local Journalist Documents Harrowing Descent into Postnatal Mental Health Crisis

The journey into motherhood is often portrayed as idyllic, but for many, it’s a deeply challenging experience. A new memoir confronts the often-unspoken struggles, offering a stark look at severe postnatal depression and dissociative disorders.

A Descent into Crisis

Journalist Sinead Corcoran Dye’s debut book, *It Nearly Killed Me But I Love You*, chronicles her intense battle with mental health following the birth of her daughter, Vivie. Soon after welcoming her baby, Corcoran Dye was admitted to Starship Hospital’s specialist Mother and Baby Unit, a critical care ward for mothers facing severe postnatal depression.

The book unflinchingly details her diagnosis with depersonalisation/ derealisation disorder (DPDR), a condition causing detachment from oneself and reality. This is compounded by past trauma, including the loss of her mother at a young age, a relationship with an older boss, fertility struggles, and debilitating morning sickness throughout her pregnancy.

Navigating Trauma with Dark Humor

Corcoran Dye’s early experiences, from a difficult pregnancy to a chaotic hospital stay and an embarrassing postpartum incident, are recounted with a tone reminiscent of the TV show *Girls*. She explains her use of humor as a coping mechanism, stating, “to make the whole experience feel like an inane sitcom episode.” The book features witty listicles and a conversational style, often shortening words like “obviously” to “obv.”

These stylistic choices, written between Vivie’s birth and her first birthday, appear to be a form of self-preservation. The lack of time for healing is evident, particularly in a chapter containing a letter to her husband, where she asks him to tell their daughter not to feel pressured to always be the “personality hire.” Corcoran Dye’s message to her daughter is also a plea to herself: the need to not always make difficult experiences entertaining or amusing.

The Silent Epidemic of Postnatal Trauma

The book starkly contrasts its lighthearted moments with the grim reality of its subject matter. Statistics within the memoir indicate that one-third of mothers find childbirth psychologically traumatic, translating to approximately 50 mothers daily in New Zealand. Corcoran Dye’s severe DPDR episodes led to her stopping work, and while she pursued various therapies and medications, she had to cease all treatment during her pregnancy.

The memoir raises critical questions about the availability of mental healthcare for new parents in New Zealand. For individuals with prior mental health diagnoses, the risks can be amplified, yet the oversight following medication cessation is highlighted as a significant concern. The book underscores an urgent need for improved mental health support for parents during this vulnerable period.

Corcoran Dye’s brutal honesty is expected to resonate deeply with new mothers and serve as an eye-opener for fathers who may underestimate their partners’ struggles. While some candid admissions, like a disastrous second date fashion intervention, are shared for comedic effect, others are alarming. One such account involves her accidentally dropping anxiety medication three times, with her infant daughter ingesting it each time—leaving the reader to question if this is a dark joke or a terrifying reality.

A Husband’s Perspective

Further insight into the severity of their ordeal is provided by her husband, Stuart Dye, in a chapter titled “My Wonderful Wife is Cursed.” His contribution seems aimed at validating Corcoran Dye’s narrative, distinguishing it from fabricated drama often found in memoirs. In this section, the prevailing “fun and funny” tone recedes, replaced by a poignant summary of their hardship: “It was cold and desperately, desperately sad.”

According to the New Zealand Ministry of Health, **approximately 15% of new mothers in New Zealand experience postpartum depression** (NZ Ministry of Health, 2023). Corcoran Dye’s book contributes to a vital conversation about maternal mental health, offering solidarity and a call to action for better support systems.

It Nearly Killed Me but I Love You by Sinead Corcoran Dye is available now from Moa Press.