Friend’s Rejection Stings: When to Let Go?

Navigating the complexities of fading friendships and mental health concerns.

When a close friendship fades, especially with someone battling depression, it raises tough questions. How much effort is too much? When do you accept the distance and protect your own well-being? One person sought advice on this delicate situation.

Fading Connection

A person, “Left on Read,” wrote about a friend of almost a decade, detailing shared experiences, from births and promotions to mental health struggles. Lately, the friend has been withdrawing, canceling plans and delaying text responses. “Left on Read” is hurt and unsure when to stop reaching out.

According to data released in May 2024 by the U.S. Surgeon General, about half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness. Loneliness can harm mental and physical health, so maintaining meaningful connections is very important (HHS.gov).

Advice Columnist Responds

The advice columnist, A.J. Daulerio, acknowledged the profound sadness that comes with losing a close friendship. Daulerio highlighted how rare it is to find someone who validates you and makes you feel less alone, expressing sympathy for the situation.

Being made to feel responsible for the loss of a friendship, especially without understanding why, can be particularly painful, says Daulerio. It can trigger feelings of rejection reminiscent of childhood experiences, leading to endless speculation and self-doubt.

The columnist suggests the friend might genuinely be busy, so focusing on the history of depression is important. Daulerio suggests it’s possible to respect boundaries while still showing care, checking in occasionally without expecting much in return, and being available in case of an emergency.

Daulerio suggests approaching the situation with detached love, providing support without sacrificing self-respect or sanity. This requires self-awareness, acknowledging any codependency, people-pleasing tendencies, or personal struggles with depression.

Ultimately, Daulerio advises against self-blame. Sometimes friendships fade simply because people change, and although painful, it doesn’t diminish the value of the connection that once was. Keep your heart open, but also prioritize your own peace.