Gossip Festers: Expert Warns of Trust’s Demise

Friendships Built on Backbiting Crumble Under Scrutiny

The ancient habit of gossip, ingrained from childhood, offers a fleeting neurological reward and a superficial ego boost. However, these social bonds, forged in shared criticism, are ultimately hollow and damaging.

The Peril of “Triangulation”

Renowned coach and author Mel Robbins recently highlighted the deceptive nature of gossip on social media. She warns that individuals comfortable engaging in gossip about others will likely do the same regarding their confidantes.

“If someone feels comfortable gossiping with you, it is likely to also gossip about you.”

—Mel Robbins, Expert Coach

Robbins explains that gossip often serves as a social connector, a phenomenon termed “triangulation.” This occurs when two individuals bond by speaking negatively about a third. This connection, however, is built on a foundation of criticism and mistrust, a tactic particularly favored by those with narcissistic traits seeking validation.

The cycle of disloyalty perpetuates, as those who gossip today will readily speak ill of you tomorrow if it serves their immediate social agenda. This pattern erodes the very fabric of personal and professional relationships.

“When you become a person who has as a rule not to gossip about others, you surround yourself with other people who do not gossip about you either.”

—Mel Robbins, Expert Coach

Cultivating Authentic Connections

Robbins advocates for a powerful personal shift: ceasing participation in gossip. Adopting a personal code of non-criticism not only elevates one’s ethical standing but also transforms the surrounding social atmosphere. According to Robbins, this practice attracts individuals who reciprocate a similar respect, fostering more honest and transparent relationships with healthier emotional dynamics.

In an era where gossip is rampant across social platforms, workplaces, and even family gatherings, Mel Robbins‘ insights prompt a critical self-assessment of our interactions. Establishing boundaries and minding our words can fundamentally alter our relationships for the better. Understanding the dual nature of gossip – that a confidant today can be a critic tomorrow – reshapes how we perceive and nurture our connections.