Erica Trocino was 11 years ancient when her parents scheduled an otoplasty, commonly known as ear pinning surgery, for her. The decision, intended to preempt potential bullying, has had a lasting impact on Trocino’s life, shaping her relationship with her body and her family, and now informing her approach to parenting.
Trocino, now 36 and a trauma-based therapist, recounts that at the time of the surgery, she didn’t perceive her ears as a problem requiring medical intervention. “I had ears that stuck out, and I’m sure I was teased about it,” she told TODAY.com. “But it wasn’t something that I remember being so impactful that I was begging my parents for it. I didn’t even know that this was something you could do to your body.” Her parents, having experienced bullying themselves, believed the surgery would be a preventative measure.
The procedure itself, and the subsequent recovery spent in a “massive headwrap,” are largely blurry in Trocino’s memory. However, the aftermath proved unexpectedly difficult. Upon returning to school, she found herself caught in a trend of students flicking each other’s ears. “Kids would flick each other’s ears from behind,” Trocino explained. “I just remember going down on my knees one day when that happened because I just went black, and of course nobody’s understanding why I would be responding this way.” A later soccer injury requiring a second surgery further complicated her experience.
A significant aspect of the experience, Trocino notes, is the lack of open communication with her parents. “My parents never talked about it; it’s just unspoken,” she said. This silence continued even after Trocino shared her story on Instagram, where it quickly garnered over a million views and sparked a range of reactions. While some commenters shared similar experiences or expressed gratitude for their own parents having authorized the surgery, others drew comparisons to more routine procedures like braces.
Trocino countered the comparison to braces with a graphic video illustrating the invasiveness of otoplasty, which involves sedation, stitches, and a considerable healing period. She emphasized that the decision wasn’t hers to make. “It’s not necessarily the procedure itself that Trocino objects to — it’s the fact that she was ‘forced’ into it,” according to reporting by PEOPLE. She believes that, had she been given the opportunity, she might have chosen to undergo the surgery once she was older and more fully developed.
The surgery and her parents’ focus on her appearance contributed to a cascade of issues throughout her adolescence. Trocino developed an eating disorder, driven by a desire to control her image, and body. She engaged in restrictive eating, excessive exercise, and self-induced vomiting. Even now, she experiences discomfort with casual touch around her ears during haircuts, massages, and acupuncture, noting that they are “hard and kind of fixed in that space.”
Trocino’s experience has profoundly influenced her parenting style. She is determined to foster open communication with her own children, Dominic, 9, and Jade, 5, and to allow them to make their own choices about their bodies. “I don’t want my daughter to feel this way, or feel like she has to change herself,” she stated. She aims to normalize body image struggles without suggesting that physical alteration is the solution.
The public response to Trocino’s story has strained her relationship with her parents, as they remain unwilling to discuss the matter openly. As of now, You’ll see no plans for a conversation about the impact of the surgery, and the underlying issues remain unaddressed.
