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The Sleep Struggle: How ADHD Impacts Families and the Stigma Parents Face
For many parents, bedtime can be a nightly battle, but for those raising children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the challenges are frequently enough amplified, impacting not only the child’s rest but the entire family’s well-being.
Caroline, a mother navigating these difficulties, shared her experience. She explained that she is “able to” manage with existing parenting controls, but the impact on her own mental health is notable.Some nights, her daughter, Karla, finds comfort by sleeping next to her or with their dog, seeking whatever helps her rest.
The strain on Caroline is considerable.She described how if Karla goes to bed extremely late, Caroline pushes herself to stay up even later to carve out personal time. However,this sacrifice takes a toll on her mental health,exacerbating her own vulnerabilities and making it difficult to maintain routines. Caroline has found that a small parenting strategy often proves effective: dedicating an “extra 10 minutes of attention and care at bedtime” can prevent hours of Karla repeatedly getting out of bed later.
The Pervasive Issue of Sleep and ADHD
Ange Nennie, an ADHD and executive function coach, confirms that the experiences of families like Caroline’s are distressingly common.Nennie stated that “Approximately 75% of ADHDers live with some form of sleep disorder.” These can include insomnia, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, narcolepsy, parasomnias, or circadian rhythm disorders, such as Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS).
Nennie elaborated on the contributing factors, noting that a “racing mind, sensory sensitivities, emotional intensity and difficulty with transitions” all contribute to why individuals with ADHD struggle with sleep. When children experience poor sleep, Nennie explained, their ability to regulate themselves is compromised. This can lead to increased emotionality, impulsivity, distractibility, and oppositional behavior the following day. The impact is reciprocal,as overtired parents experience similar difficulties.
The consequences extend beyond sleep, with Nennie highlighting that “The chronic stress takes a toll – not just at home but at work, in your relationships and on your mental health.”
Addressing the Stigma and Lack of Support
Echoing the sentiments of parents like Vanessa and Caroline, Nennie is acutely aware of the lack of support many parents feel. She pointed out that “There’s a lot of stigma and misinformation out there about both ADHD and sleep.” This often leads to the misconception that sleep issues are simply a behavioral problem or that the child is “just being difficult.”
Nennie also noted that “Some parents have internalised the idea that poor sleep is a result of poor parenting.” When families do seek professional help, they are frequently “bounced between professionals who don’t fully understand ADHD or the neurobiology behind these challenges.” This can leave parents feeling “helpless or ashamed, so they stop asking.”
Recognizing this critical gap, Nennie emphasizes the importance of supporting parents as much as supporting children. She stated, “A regulated parent is one of the moast powerful tools in a dysregulated child’s life, but they can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Pseudonyms have been used for the individuals mentioned in this article.
ginger Gorman is a social justice journalist and author, who also has ADHD. Her upcoming book for Harper Collins is titled “Flying not Falling.”
