Dinner Table Decorum: Childhood Manners Reveal Socioeconomic background, Expert Says
New York, NY - Teh seemingly innocuous realm of dinner table manners isn’t just about politeness; it’s a subtle but powerful indicator of socioeconomic background, according to a recent analysis of dining habits. A lifestyle writer’s observations, detailed in a viral article, suggest that the presence – or absence – of specific table manners learned in childhood can correlate with class upbringing.
The piece, originally published on VegOut, highlights seven common dinner table rules and how their enforcement, or lack thereof, often differs based on family income and social standing. While the outcome – a reasonably civil meal – might appear the same across households, the way those outcomes are achieved reveals deeper cultural distinctions.
“Table manners aren’t about being better or worse. They’re cultural markers, signs of the surroundings that shaped us,” the article states.
Here’s a breakdown of the seven manners and their class-based interpretations, as outlined in the analysis:
1) Saying “Please” and ”Thank You: while universally valued, the expectation of consistent politeness varied. Some families actively prompted and corrected lapses,while others adopted a more relaxed approach.
2) Keeping Elbows Off the Table: This rule, often strictly enforced in more affluent households, was frequently absent in casual settings.
3) Finishing Your Plate: In some families, cleaning your plate was a matter of respecting the food and those who prepared it. In others, it was acceptable to leave food if you were full, prioritizing individual appetite over perceived waste.
4) Asking to Be Excused: The formality of requesting permission to leave the table was more common in households where structured mealtimes were prioritized.
5) Waiting for Everyone to Be Served: This practice, emphasizing communal dining, was more prevalent in families where meals were considered a formal occasion.
6) Phone Etiquette: The framing of addressing phone use at the table differed significantly. A directive like “Put your phone away” was contrasted with a household rule stating, “we don’t have phones at the table in this family.” The former manages a nuisance; the latter protects an institution.
7) Chewing with Your Mouth Closed and Not Talking with Food in Your Mouth: Though widely recognized as basic etiquette, the level of enforcement varied.Strict households demanded immediate correction, framing it as a matter of respect and self-control, while more casual homes offered suggestions rather then rigid rules.
The author, a former music blogger turned lifestyle writer, notes that observing these differences was a key takeaway from her career transition. “The way we eat tells a story about where we came from, even when we’re not saying a word,” she writes.
The analysis concludes that childhood table manners don’t define an individual, but they offer insight into their upbringing and the values prioritized within their family.The ability to adapt these manners – to “code-switch” at the dinner table – is presented as a valuable skill in navigating diverse social contexts.
