Teh โฃReluctance โคtoโฃ Broadcast Benevolence:โ Why Sharing Good Deeds Feelsโฆoff
We often assume โsharing positive experiences boosts our mood. However, research suggests โa surprising disconnect when it comes to revealing โour acts of kindness. A series of five studies, titled The Do-gooder Dilemma, explored why announcing a good deed doesn’t feel as rewarding as acknowledging a personal achievement. The research, published in the Journal of experimental Social Psychology โค in โข2025 (DOI: 10.1016/j.jesp.2025.104808), reveals a common โคexpectation: sharing altruistic acts can actuallyโ lead toโฃ negative feelings.
Researchers, led by Richardson andโ colleagues, asked hundreds of participants โฃto recall both a time they performed a good deed and a time they โachieved somethingโ personally. Participants thenโ described the emotions they felt during those events and predicted how they would feel sharing them with a friend or on social media. The โresults consistentlyโฃ showed individuals anticipatedโฃ experiencing shame โฃandโค discomfort whenโ contemplating sharing their good deeds, particularly on platforms โฃlike social media. Conversely, sharing personal achievements wasโ expected toโ evoke feelings of pride and โคjoy.
The core of this “do-gooder dilemma” appears toโ stem from a perceived risk to reputation. As Richardson explained in โขa Phys.org article โ(published November 2025), people suspect others mightโ view their โdisclosure of good deeds as a self-serving attempt to gain recognition and bolster their image. This concern is amplified when considering social media, where the potential for reputational scrutiny is higher.The awareness ofโฃ this potential negative perception canโค “wash away the warm feeling of the altruistic act,” leading to embarrassment.
Interestingly, the โคstudy also โฃuncovered a gap in โฃempathy. Participants believed sharing their good deeds would improve how others felt, despiteโ anticipatingโ feeling worse themselves. This discrepancy highlightsโ the difficulty in accurately understanding another person’s internal experience. Richardson suggests our simulations of others’ perspectives are often less nuanced than our own, potentially influenced by the Dunning-Kruger โฃeffect – a psychological phenomenon where individualsโข tend to overestimateโ their own abilities and underestimate โฃthose of others. โ essentially, weโ believe we’re capable of selfless sharing, while potentially perceiving โothers as less genuine.
The findings suggestโค that โคkeeping a good deed private isn’t simply a matterโข of modesty, but a potentiallyโ protective โคemotionalโ strategy. As Richardson concludes, echoing Oscar Wilde, the greatest satisfaction โคmay lie in anonymous benevolence – aโข sentiment reinforced by the research demonstrating the โpotential downsides of publicly proclaiming one’s good deeds.