Rediscovering Joy: Learning to Paint (and Be Bad At It) as an Adult
A London-based journalist revisited oil painting as an adult, finding unexpected lessons in perseverance and self-acceptance, inspired by a childhood introduction to Vincent van Gogh through a picture book featuring a teddy bear version of the artist.
Sian Cain, a writer for The Guardian, enrolled in a 12-week oil painting course, motivated by a desire to engage with a challenging skill and to accept the possibility of not being immediately proficient. Her initial fascination with Van Gogh stemmed from “For the Love of Vincent” by Brenda V Northeast, a children’s book published in 1995 that reimagined the artist as “Vincent van Bear.” According to Goodreads, the book introduces Van Gogh’s life and work to children aged 6-8.
Cain recalled a childhood love for Van Gogh, sparked not by accounts of his struggles, but by the vibrant imagery presented in Northeast’s book. She even dressed as “Vincent Van Bear” for a school Book Week event. This early positive association contrasted sharply with her later experiences with art in high school, where assessment and judgment transformed a joyful activity into a source of anxiety. “When art went from something I simply did to something I could be judged for, that made it terrifying,” Cain wrote.
The oil painting course began with fundamental exercises, including color theory, composition, and paint mixing. Students were required to demonstrate proficiency in palette mixing before being allowed to proceed. The curriculum involved replicating works by established artists, such as John Singer Sargent and Anders Zorn, to understand their techniques. Cain described the process as “fascinating” but similarly “hard.”
One particularly frustrating assignment involved painting a satin ribbon, which took three hours and left her “in a filthy mood.” She initially reacted with anger at her perceived lack of skill, but ultimately recognized the value of the struggle. A subsequent task – painting a white sheet against a white background – brought a different realization: “teachers are mean.”
Despite the challenges, Cain found herself gaining confidence. She began displaying her work at home, a practice she likened to what her five-year-vintage self would have done. The act of sharing her paintings, and learning to accept feedback, proved to be a significant step in overcoming her earlier anxieties about artistic judgment. “It’s character building, I think,” she wrote. “Vincent would be proud.”
Brenda V Northeast’s “For the Love of Vincent” was initially published in 1995 and is still available for purchase, according to Lulu.com. The book aims to introduce children to Van Gogh’s art through the story of Vincent van Bear, who travels through locations featured in Van Gogh’s paintings. Northeast reportedly ensured copyright compliance before reproducing Van Gogh’s artwork for the book, noting that works by artists who have been deceased for 50 years or more are generally free from copyright restrictions.