Mum’s Mental Health Missed: Cleaner Spotted What Doctors Didn’t
A Melbourne mother has revealed the profound lack of mental health support she received following multiple pregnancy losses, highlighting a gap in care for grieving parents. Amy Hipwell endured the stillbirth of her daughter Emily at 28 weeks, followed by an early miscarriage and, later, the heartbreaking termination of another pregnancy after a diagnosis of Trisomy 18.
Despite experiencing devastating grief and anxiety throughout these experiences, Hipwell says she was never proactively asked about her mental wellbeing by medical professionals. The first person to inquire about her emotional state was her cleaner, echoing concerns already voiced by her husband, Chris. “I was just sitting there crying and crying… she did a clean for an hour then sat there and said, you know, ‘it sounds like you really might demand some help’,” Hipwell recalled.
Hipwell’s firstborn, Emily, was stillborn due to a suspected clotting issue in the umbilical cord. Following this loss, she experienced an early miscarriage. During her subsequent pregnancy with her daughter Julia, now 17, Hipwell was plagued by anxiety. While her obstetrician addressed her physical health with blood thinners and additional tests, she felt her emotional needs were overlooked. “The appointments and the screenings are very medical,” Hipwell told 9news.com.au. “There was nothing about my mental health and how I would look after myself in the pregnancy.”
The anxiety persisted after Julia’s birth, with Hipwell struggling to bond with her daughter, fearing further loss. “I was obviously so happy that I had a healthy baby, but then so worried that I was going to lose her,” she said. “I didn’t let people hold her, I was really hyper vigilant… But it was never talked about or questioned, like, you know, ‘maybe you want to proceed and get some support for how anxious you’re feeling’.”
Later, while pregnant with Skye, the family relocated to Brisbane and sought care from a fresh obstetrician. At the 12-week scan, Skye was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, a severe genetic condition with a less than 1 per cent chance of survival beyond a week after birth. The couple made the difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy, a process Hipwell described as “the most traumatic experience” of her life. “We just got sent home and there was nothing… I don’t recall any support at all,” she said.
After returning to Victoria, Hipwell became pregnant with her son Nathan in 2010. Despite her history of loss, she says the topic of her mental health was not raised during or after the pregnancy. “I was on my own at home with a baby and a toddler, and I guess, gradually, I was just not coping,” she explained. “I would just be crying all the time, I didn’t feel like I was bonding with Nathan.”
An internet search eventually led Hipwell to Perinatal Anxiety &. Depression Australia (PANDA), where she found the support she desperately needed. “I remember calling them and crying, and just going, ‘I don’t know what’s wrong, I don’t want to even be at home anymore, I don’t want to look after this baby, I just can’t do it’. I just wanted to get on a plane and leave and never come back.”
Hipwell’s experience is not unique. A recent PANDA survey revealed that more than one in five respondents (22 per cent) reported that healthcare providers never asked about their mental health. Less than half (43 per cent) indicated that anxiety was included in routine screening.
“Healthcare providers should be regularly asking expecting and new mothers, dads and partners how they are feeling emotionally,” said Julie Borninkhof, a clinical psychologist and PANDA CEO. Borninkhof noted that training for healthcare professionals in perinatal mental health is often limited, sometimes consisting of only a few hours within their entire course of study. “Picking up anxiety and depression among expecting and new parents can be difficult. Matrescence is a time of huge adjustment, changing hormones and sleep deprivation.”
Borninkhof emphasized the importance of early intervention, stating that untreated parental mental health issues can worsen and negatively impact both the parent and the child’s wellbeing, and in rare cases, become life-threatening. She also highlighted the critical role of the perinatal period in a child’s early development, emphasizing that supporting parents’ mental health can have lasting intergenerational benefits.
PANDA can be reached at 1300 726 306 (Mon-Fri, 9am-7:30pm and Sat 9am-4pm AEST/AEDT) or via their website at panda.org.au. Lifeline is available on 13 11 14 and Beyond Blue offers support resources.