Lucy Wolfe: Embrace Imperfect Parenting & Prioritise Baby Sleep Pillars

Douglas Court Shopping Centre in County Cork, Ireland, hosted a parenting event on Tuesday, March 24, 2026, where paediatric sleep consultant Lucy Wolfe urged parents to challenge societal expectations and embrace the imperfections of parenthood. The event, organized by the Irish Examiner, drew parents and their young children for a discussion focused on navigating sleep challenges.

Wolfe, founder of Sleep Matters and author of The Baby Sleep Solution and All About The Baby Sleep Solution, emphasized a holistic and child-centred approach to sleep. She discussed the evolving sleep patterns of children, highlighting the importance of regulation, consistent routines, and fostering independent sleep skills. According to Wolfe, understanding these elements is crucial for addressing common issues like night-waking.

“Your regulation is your most powerful tool,” Wolfe explained to attendees. She advocated for establishing consistent daily routines, including exposure to natural light and movement, to support a child’s circadian rhythm. “We benefit from this, so they benefit from it. And then letting the day unfold, so there is almost a rhythm and flow, because that’s what our bodies benefit from.”

Wolfe detailed the significance of recognizing sleep phases – both REM and non-REM – and the concept of “partial arousal,” describing it as a natural “check-in system” for babies. She explained that a baby’s ability to resettle independently is affected by their sleep environment and how they were initially put to sleep. “Once we acquire beyond this six month mark where the sleep has matured a little bit more, what we start to see is children who are transferred already asleep to their sleep space… they’re going to be two to three times more likely to wake than their counterparts that go in there awake or some bit awake.”

The sleep consultant also addressed the role of soothing aids, such as dummies, white noise, and music, stating her belief in providing support “whatever that support might be.” She expressed a positive view of dummies, provided breastfeeding is well-established, questioning why anything that supports both parent and child should be considered negative.

Creating a safe and secure sleep environment was another key topic. Wolfe cautioned against overly dark rooms, suggesting they could be “disconcerting,” and advised against placing objects hanging over a cot that could create shadows.

Beyond sleep strategies, Wolfe stressed the importance of parental self-care, advocating for shared labour within families and challenging the concept of “maternal gatekeeping.” “Let it be imperfect. So the division of labour is shared. It’s on us to do that,” she said. “We cannot do it all, and at no period in our parenting history have women been asked so much of.”

Irish Examiner Feelgood editor Irene Feighan participated in a Q&A session with Wolfe during the event. Irish Examiner columnist Esther McCarthy also spoke at the event, which was photographed by Chani Anderson.

Wolfe is scheduled to present at The Museum of Motherhood’s Annual International Academic & Arts Conference from March 27-29, focusing on reproductive identities and resistance.