Relocating for Love Can Strain Marriages, Experts Warn
LONDON – The decision to move abroad for a partner is often framed as a romantic sacrifice, but relationship experts are increasingly highlighting the potential for unforeseen emotional strain when one partner fundamentally dislikes their new home. A recent advice column published in The Guardian details one man’s struggle wiht deep unhappiness after relocating to live with his wife, prompting discussion about the importance of realistic expectations and proactive dialog in binational marriages.
The letter writer, who remains anonymous, expressed a profound dissatisfaction with his wife’s country, describing a simmering resentment that has taken root after the move. While acknowledging no nation is perfect, the advice columnist, Annalisa barbieri, emphasized the need to explore the root causes of the unhappiness beyond simply disliking the location. Barbieri noted the “feelings of resentment” in the letter and questioned whether the writer had passively allowed life to unfold rather than actively taking control of his situation.
This case underscores a growing trend: the complexities of cross-cultural relationships and the challenges of uprooting one’s life for love. Experts say that while relocation can strengthen bonds, it can also exacerbate existing issues or create new ones if one partner feels isolated, unsupported, or unable to adapt. the key, according to Barbieri, lies in identifying unmet needs and exploring ways to address them, even if those solutions don’t involve an immediate return to the original country.
Barbieri suggested the writer consider a five-year plan, working backwards from desired future feelings and circumstances to identify actionable steps. She also recommended self-reflection to understand the origins of his unhappiness.
Resources offered in the column include the podcasts “What It Means to Belong” (https://pod.link/1567190358/episode/NjQxNDYwNzFiNzg5ZWEwMDExZjkyZTUx) and “Should we move?” (https://pod.link/1567190358/episode/NjcyNGJlYjEyZTc1ZWQ0MzRhZDc3NmJi),potentially offering further guidance for those navigating similar challenges.
Readers seeking advice from Annalisa Barbieri can submit their problems to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Submissions are subject to The Guardian’s terms and conditions (https://www.theguardian.com/info/2011/oct/06/submitting-content-to-print-publications). The latest series of her podcast is available here: https://pod.link/1567190358.
