A prototype pair of Lego Crocs, retailing at £199, has been subjected to a rigorous real-world test, revealing a curious blend of practicality and absurdity. The Guardian’s Rich Pelley documented his day navigating London and various activities while wearing the brick-shaped footwear, reporting on their impact on everything from public transport to a spin class.
The experiment began with a stealthy attempt to conceal the Crocs during a Zoom meeting, Pelley noted their surprising thermal efficiency compared to his usual slippers. However, the true test came with navigating the city. He found that commuting, already time-consuming, was significantly prolonged due to the cumbersome nature of the footwear. Ascending bus stairs and traversing escalators proved particularly challenging.
A visit to Bloomsbury Lanes offered an unexpected moment of success. Despite describing the Crocs as “two giant anchors,” Pelley managed to fluke a split in bowling, though this was followed by two gutter balls. A fellow bowler offered a simple assessment: “Nice shoes, mate.”
A walk through a park drew attention, with a photographer documenting Pelley’s frequent need for rest. The experience highlighted the physical strain of walking in the oversized, rigid Crocs. A spin class at Anytime Fitness Euston presented another challenge. While the added weight provided a perceived boost on the down-pedal, the up-pedal proved significantly more difficult.
The ultimate test involved attempting entry into a Mayfair nightclub. Pelley was denied access by three separate bouncers, citing dress code violations – specifically, the prohibition of trainers and sportswear. One bouncer described the Crocs as a “health and safety violation and also hideous.”
Pelley concluded that the Lego Crocs are less a practical shoe and more a “performance art piece about the triumph of novelty over sense.” While his feet survived the ordeal, his ego, he reported, required rebuilding. He removed the Crocs and returned to his Adidas.
