Teh Reluctance to Broadcast Benevolence: Why Sharing Good Deeds Feels…off
We often assume sharing positive experiences boosts our mood. However, research suggests a surprising disconnect when it comes to revealing our acts of kindness. A series of five studies, titled The Do-gooder Dilemma, explored why announcing a good deed doesn’t feel as rewarding as acknowledging a personal achievement. The research, published in the Journal of experimental Social Psychology in 2025 (DOI: 10.1016/j.jesp.2025.104808), reveals a common expectation: sharing altruistic acts can actually lead to negative feelings.
Researchers, led by Richardson and colleagues, asked hundreds of participants to recall both a time they performed a good deed and a time they achieved something personally. Participants then described the emotions they felt during those events and predicted how they would feel sharing them with a friend or on social media. The results consistently showed individuals anticipated experiencing shame and discomfort when contemplating sharing their good deeds, particularly on platforms like social media. Conversely, sharing personal achievements was expected to evoke feelings of pride and joy.
The core of this “do-gooder dilemma” appears to stem from a perceived risk to reputation. As Richardson explained in a Phys.org article (published November 2025), people suspect others might view their disclosure of good deeds as a self-serving attempt to gain recognition and bolster their image. This concern is amplified when considering social media, where the potential for reputational scrutiny is higher.The awareness of this potential negative perception can “wash away the warm feeling of the altruistic act,” leading to embarrassment.
Interestingly, the study also uncovered a gap in empathy. Participants believed sharing their good deeds would improve how others felt, despite anticipating feeling worse themselves. This discrepancy highlights the difficulty in accurately understanding another person’s internal experience. Richardson suggests our simulations of others’ perspectives are often less nuanced than our own, potentially influenced by the Dunning-Kruger effect – a psychological phenomenon where individuals tend to overestimate their own abilities and underestimate those of others. essentially, we believe we’re capable of selfless sharing, while potentially perceiving others as less genuine.
The findings suggest that keeping a good deed private isn’t simply a matter of modesty, but a potentially protective emotional strategy. As Richardson concludes, echoing Oscar Wilde, the greatest satisfaction may lie in anonymous benevolence – a sentiment reinforced by the research demonstrating the potential downsides of publicly proclaiming one’s good deeds.
