Dutch Survey Reveals Widespread Annoyance with Other Parents‘ Child-Rearing
AMSTERDAM – A new survey reveals that a vast majority of people in the Netherlands are bothered by how other people raise their children, with a significant focus on a perceived lack of boundaries and parental inattention.The research, forming the basis for a new edition of LINDA. magazine focusing on the phenomenon of the “mother mafia,” highlights a common tension surrounding parenting styles.
According to the survey,the biggest irritants are parents who fail to set boundaries for their children (71 percent) and those who don’t intervene when their offspring cause disturbances in public spaces like stores and restaurants (also 71 percent). Disrespectful behavior from children towards adults, coupled with a lack of basic manners like saying “thank you” or “please,” are also frequently cited as concerns.
Over half of respondents (50+ percent) attribute part of the problem to parents spending too much time on their phones, leading to diminished supervision of their children.
While criticism is common, opinions diverge on the right approach. Eleven percent believe some parents are too strict, while only two percent report being unbothered by the parenting choices of others.
The survey also shows that 24 percent of respondents actively discuss other parents’ styles with them. While most address the issue directly with the parent, some will even speak to the child directly, or vent to friends and family. Concern for the child’s well-being and safety are primary motivators, but 15 percent admit to being driven simply by annoyance.
The “mother mafia” - the frequently enough-unspoken network of parents, in-laws, and onlookers offering unsolicited opinions – is a familiar experiance for many. A third of parents report receiving unwanted advice or criticism, most often from family members, regarding discipline, nutrition, and screen time. Parents-in-law frequently offer opinions on feeding, sleeping, and soothing, while mothers are more likely to comment on tablet or phone use.
While over a quarter of parents feel attacked by such comments, nearly as many find the feedback useful and incorporate it into their parenting approach.
content creator Nienke Plas, featured in LINDA., described her own style as “strict,” stating, “I believe that children benefit from setting boundaries; that gives them security.”
