Supporting a Child Through Parental Recovery: Advice for a Mother of an Autistic Son
A mother navigating early sobriety is seeking guidance on how to best support her 11-year-old son, who is on the autism spectrum. The challenge highlights a growing need for tailored support for families impacted by addiction, particularly when neurodiversity is involved. Successfully navigating this delicate situation requires separating parental needs from a child’s, ensuring the child has safe spaces, and accessing specialized resources.
The complexities of parental recovery are amplified when a child has autism, requiring a nuanced approach to emotional support and stability. According to advice columnist Annalisa Barbieri,published in The guardian on October 5,2025,a key first step is determining if the child has a secure and trusted option safe space,such as with their father. Barbieri emphasizes that a child choosing to spend time with the other parent isn’t a reflection of parental failure, but a natural part of the process.
Barbieri’s counsel, informed by input from Harris, stresses the importance of separating the parent’s needs from the child’s. “You need to separate your needs and your son’s.Make sure you’re not making him feel better to make yourself feel better – to absolve yourself - because you can’t do that through your son. You can better focus on what he needs if you have good support yourself,” Harris stated.
the mother is already receiving support from addiction services, which Barbieri acknowledges may be unusual given these services typically cater to adults, but possibly valuable nonetheless. Barbieri also recommends several organizations offering specific support: Al-Anon Family Groups (specifically Alateen – https://al-anonuk.org.uk/alateen/); the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (https://nacoa.org.uk/); and the national Autistic Society (https://www.autism.org.uk/).
Barbieri concludes with encouragement, affirming the mother is “doing really well” and urging her to “keep going.” Readers seeking advice from Annalisa Barbieri can submit their problems to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com.
