The quiet Life After Moravia: Carmen Llera Reflects on Love, Loss, and a Life Well-Lived
carmen Llera Moravia, widow of Italian literary giant Alberto Moravia, opens up about her life - from a childhood shadowed by fear and loss in Francoist Spain, to a passionate marriage built on acceptance, and beyond.
Carmen Llera’s earliest memory is a chilling one: “I think it’s a false memory: the first steps, and the fear of the moon.” A fear instilled by her father, who warned a young Carmen that the moon would steal her mother away if she misbehaved. This early anxiety hints at a life marked by both trauma and resilience, a theme that continues to resonate throughout her story.
Born in Tudela, Navarra, Spain, Llera recalls a childhood touched by tragedy – the loss of a sister drowned in a canal, a father who fought in the Spanish Civil War but rejected the rigid hierarchies of military life. Her upbringing unfolded under the shadow of franco’s regime, though she admits to being largely unaware of its full impact as a child, spending her formative years within the strict confines of a Catholic school.
Leaving Spain in 1977 to pursue her studies at the University of Palermo, Llera found herself unexpectedly crossing paths with the powerful and controversial politician Salvo Lima, a foreshadowing of the complex and often surprising encounters that would define her life. She fondly remembers intellectual exchanges with Javier Marías, whose work she continues to revisit with a poignant sense of loss following his recent death.But it was in 1980, while researching the intersection of cinema and literature, that Llera’s life took its moast significant turn. A meeting with Alberto Moravia, through a connection to Pier Paolo pasolini, sparked a connection that would last until his death.She describes a relationship built on mutual respect and a rare acceptance of her independent spirit.Their marriage in 1986, following the death of Moravia’s first wife, Elsa Morante, was a testament to their unconventional bond. Llera recalls Morante being “happy” for them, a surprising grace note in a complex emotional landscape.
Llera challenges the narrative of a tumultuous marriage, dismissing rumors of jealousy and interference. “I loved Alberto as he was the only one who didn’t try to change me,” she explains. “He was so intelligent as to understand and accept my nature.” She recounts Moravia’s playful prediction of her remarriage after his death, a prediction that never came to pass. “I’m so well alone,” she states with quiet contentment.The interview delves into the complexities of their life together, including moravia’s captivation with her independent travels and a debunking of the myth that he sought to witness her affairs. Llera paints a picture of a man frequently enough misunderstood, describing him as shy and humorous in private, navigating life with a specially adapted car due to a childhood lameness.
Llera’s life didn’t end with Moravia’s passing. She recounts a significant relationship with Walid Jumblatt, the Lebanese Druze leader, a connection forged in the aftermath of Olof Palme’s assassination.
Now, with the republication of her memoir, “Men,” llera offers a powerful reflection on a life lived on her own terms, a life defined by intellectual curiosity, passionate relationships, and a steadfast commitment to independence. She remains a woman who rises with the dawn, embracing solitude and cherishing the memories of a life richly lived.
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