London, England – Recent findings from relationship therapist Dr. Sarah Collinson, based at the University of Oxford, identify four distinct anxiety styles that commonly impact romantic relationships.These anxieties, often rooted in past experiences, can manifest as fears of loss, rejection, identity loss, or a combination thereof, hindering the progress of secure and fulfilling connections.

Understanding the Four Anxiety Styles

1. Fear of Loss and Abandonment

   This style is characterized by a deep-seated fear of being left alone.Individuals experiencing this anxiety frequently enough exhibit behaviors driven by a need for reassurance and may struggle with trust. Dr. Collinson notes this can appear as “expectations of perfection, or that we’ve actually got some red flags coming up that we’re starting to think maybe this isn’t quite the right place for me to be.”

2. Fear of Rejection

   Those with a fear of rejection are preoccupied with concerns about being deemed unworthy of love. This can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors and a constant need for validation. For single people, this might manifest as fears of “what if I’m alone forever, or what if I’m too broken for healthy love.”

3. Fear of Identity Loss

   Individuals grappling with this anxiety worry about losing their sense of self within a relationship. They may maintain emotional distance and prioritize independence to an extreme degree. Dr. Collinson explains that these individuals “tend to constantly keep that partner at arm’s length a bit.They need a lot of space. That’s what they think. maybe there’s a lot of questioning that the other person is too codependent.”

How to Address Each Anxiety Style

Addressing Fear of Loss and Abandonment

Dr. Collinson emphasizes the crucial role of building internal security. “We’ve really got to look at creating a sense of certainty within ourselves and a sense of safety within as, yes, there is no certainty. Ultimately, in a relationship, to love is to risk,” she states. The key lies in cultivating self-reliance and recognizing one’s inherent worth, even in the absence of a partner. This involves asking yourself: “Even if something happens to my partner, even if they did leave me, is there something I’ve got within myself that I can rely on?”

Addressing Fear of Rejection

Overcoming this anxiety requires a focused effort on bolstering self-worth. Dr. Collinson suggests exploring the origins of these feelings and challenging negative self-perceptions. “We’re really looking at building our self-worth, and looking at where some of this started to happen to us, where we question our self-worth.”

Disclaimer: This article provides general information and should not be considered a substitute for professional psychological advice. If you are struggling with relationship anxiety, please consult with a qualified therapist or counselor.

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