Home » Health » The toxic positivity trap: what it is and how to get out of it The toxic positivity trap: what it is and how to get out of it January 17, 2021 by world today news Lucia Blasco BBC World News — 4 hours ago Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, Do you hide “negative” emotions? — – Have you ever felt like you have to hide your negative emotions? As if you are being forced around the clock and at all costs to maintain the image of a “happy person”? – It may sound counterintuitive, but positivity can be toxic. – “Everything of value in life is achieved through overcoming the accompanying negative experiences,” says American writer and personal development consultant Mark Manson. – “Any attempt to avoid negativity, suppress or drown out, leads to a backlash. Avoiding suffering is a form of suffering. Denying failure is failure,” he continues. – But toxic positivity requires you to do just that – to force yourself to pretend to be optimistic and drown out negative emotions, no matter how false your optimism may be. – Psychologist Antonio Rodellar, a specialist in anxiety disorders and clinical hypnosis, says that negative emotions (the psychologist prefers to call them “unregulated”) must be recognized. – “The palette of emotions includes unregulated feelings such as sadness, disappointment, anger, anxiety or envy,” he recalls. – “We cannot ignore the fact that as humans we have a whole range of these emotions, which are useful and give us information about what is happening around and in our body. You cannot ignore them,” adds Rodellar. – British therapist, psychologist and author Sally Baker agrees: “The problem with toxic positivity is that it requires us to drown out some of the wider range of emotions we may experience in a difficult situation.” – Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, Embracing our emotions makes us stronger, says Sally Baker — – “If you allow yourself to experience only positive emotions, you are lying to yourself,” she says. – “When you find yourself in a difficult situation, suppressing all the ‘negative’ feelings that come up will just wear you out. And even worse, you won’t be able to develop resilience to them,” says Baker. – “It isolates us from ourselves, from our true emotions. We hide behind positivity so that people don’t see us in a bad light,” she sums up. – Positive – common and toxic To understand what toxic positivity is, we must distinguish it from positive thinking. It sounds similar, but they are completely different things. – “Positive thinking was popularized by psychologist Martin Seligman, who studied depression. He found a new approach to a range of problems, situations and pathologies,” says Rodellar. – In the 1990s, Seligman, then president of the American Psychological Association, told a conference that psychology needed to take a new step in the scientific study of everything that makes people happy. – In his famous 1995 book, The Optimist Child, the American psychologist explained that people are not born pessimists, but become pessimists because of their life experiences. He argues that we can combat this pessimism and transform our negative thoughts into more positive ones. – Fine! So if I’m sad, all I have to do is focus on being happy, right? Not certainly in that way. This would be a shortcut to the trap of toxic positivity. – Negative emotions cannot be ignored – you must first acknowledge and accept them. – The trick is to moderate your positivism and avoid extremes. – Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, You won’t always feel good, and that’s okay. — – “The concept of positive psychology has become distorted over time,” says Rodellar. “Focusing on the positive aspects of different situations in life can be beneficial, including from a therapeutic point of view. The problem is that if you get carried away, it can lead to reduced ability confront negative situations, “says the psychologist. – “Properly applied positive thinking is very useful, but it inevitably forms a fragmented perception of reality and a sense of helplessness. Denying harmful and painful situations is like looking at the world with one eye,” Rodellar said. – — – How to tell if you’re trapped in toxic positivity You hide or disguise your true feelings. You try not to “dwell” on the problem by ignoring your emotions. You feel guilty about how you feel. You try to minimize the negative experiences of others by saying things that make you feel good. You are trying to rationalize the situation (“it could have been worse”) instead of acknowledging your emotional experience. You shame or point the finger at others if they express frustration or other “negative” feelings. You ignore what bothers you (“as is, so is”). — A sourceand: Tamara Quintero (Trauma, Hypnotherapy and Personal Growth Specialist), Jamie Long (Relationship, Eating & Anxiety Specialist). – — – How does this affect us? Suppressing or ignoring “negative” emotions can be bad for your health. – “All the emotions we suppress are somatized [психологический стресс проявляется в виде физических симптомов] and manifest through the body, often as a disease. When we deny emotion, it finds another way out, ”says Rodellar. – Baker agrees: “Emotion suppression affects your health. If you hide your problems behind a facade of toxic positives, they will appear in your body in alternative ways – from skin problems to irritable bowel syndrome.” – “When we ignore our negative emotions, our body begins to try to draw attention to this problem. Suppressing emotions is exhausting us physically and psychologically. It is unhealthy and does not work in the long term,” says the therapist. – Another consequence, Rodellar says, is that “when we only focus on positive emotions, we get more naive, childish versions of situations that happen to us in life, and we become more vulnerable in difficult times.” – Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, Are you being honest with yourself? — – Psychopedic and neuropsychology expert Teresa Gutierrez says toxic positivity “has more serious psychological and psychiatric consequences than depression.” – “The world of emotions is devirtualized, and this can lead to the fact that a person does not live a real life – this is reflected in our mental health. This amount of positive is harmful to everyone. If there are no disappointments and failures, we will not learn to develop in our lives,” says she. – If you’re not okay, that’s okay. Is a toxic positive trend in fashion? Baker believes so, and attributes this to the proliferation of social media “which forces us to compare our lives with other ideal lives that we see on the Internet.” – “There is a constant tendency on social media to show the most perfect version of yourself, it’s exhausting and not reality,” says Baker. – “If we were more honest, we would not hesitate to experience any emotions. We are people, we must allow ourselves to experience the full range of emotions. If everything is not okay with you, this is normal. We cannot be positive all the time,” she says. … – Gutierrez says toxic positivity has become more prevalent “in recent years”, especially during the pandemic. – “We live in atypical and strange times, many people suffer. Anxiety, uncertainty, frustration, fear … These are all common feelings. But we are too addicted to toxic positivity, and this is dangerous,” she says. – Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, “Everything will be fine” is a nice thought, but not very valuable advice — – Rodellar believes that “people are trying to find a shortcut to mental health, to feel better immediately, as if it is a right given to them by nature.” – “It’s nice to think that everything will be okay. But that doesn’t mean that the process of achieving your goal should be pleasantly easy. It’s more realistic to say to yourself“ and it will pass ”when you have a difficult period in your life,” says the psychologist. – “Emotions are like waves: it accelerates, gaining strength, and slows down, becoming foam and disappearing. Problems begin when we do not want to feel what we are feeling, then we lose resistance to the next wave,” explains Rodellar. – Recognize and not ignore Psychologists consulted by the BBC agree that ideally all emotions should be accepted without suppressing those we dislike. – Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, We always “should” feel good, but it’s unhealthy pressure — – It’s not about giving up positive thinking, but acknowledging how we feel at every moment, even if we feel uncomfortable. – “Be more honest with yourself, don’t be afraid to say that you are sad, that you are depressed, that you are worried. It is important to admit when you feel bad, and understand that this is happening and will happen, – says Baker. – Just live your emotions and learn from them to become more resilient. “(For clinically depressed patients, this advice will not work; clinical depression can get worse without treatment). – Psychology professor at the University of Michigan Stephanie Preston believes that the best way to test your emotions is “just to listen to them.” – “When someone shares negative feelings with you, do not rush to encourage him or try to make him think more positively by telling him that“ everything will be fine. ”Instead, try to think about what bothers or scares him. Try to listen,” advises expert. – “Being emotionally upset is already isolation, and when people try to drown out these feelings, especially if they are your family and friends, it hurts a lot. Listening to someone who is hurting can lead to big changes in their lives.” says Preston. – Perhaps it will be useful for you too. There is evidence that being altruistic is beneficial to health, Preston notes. – Photo author, Getty Images — Photo caption, Listening to a friend is more important than trying to cheer him up. — – What if you feel depressed? – “The most important thing is to practice mindfulness,” says Rodellar. – “Accept the situation and your feelings. Do not deny that something is wrong, do not look the other way, and at the same time do not dwell on negative emotions,” adds the psychologist. – “Emotions are information that we must read and understand in order to better look at the situation and see what lessons can be learned from it, what can be changed in the future,” says Rodellar. – How do you translate this advice into practice? Here are the typical phrases and alternatives to the paradigm of toxic positivity. – “We must be responsible for our own happiness, pursuing it through constructive psychology,” says Rodellar. – “It’s okay to think that the glass is half full, but you have to accept situations when it’s half empty, and from that point on take responsibility for how we build our lives,” he adds. – “All our emotions are real and real, and they all have value,” Baker agrees. — Related posts:West Lewoleba Urban Village Head Asked Residents to Maintain Cleanliness to Prevent DHFFirst drug that slows the onset of type 1 diabetes now approved in America: "A great step, and certa...Russia Successfully Grows Watermelons in Antarctica: A Remarkable Experiment at Vostok StationIssy-les-Moulineaux: the Swiss Hospital obtains the “local hospital” labelShare this:FacebookX Related Rooney, unfortunate defeat before official director debut Merkel’s successor also elected Lachett as the new center-right leader of the CDP Leave a Comment Cancel replyCommentName Email Website Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 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