After the death of Mari Carmen on December 17 of this sad year 2020, a barrage of questions came to my head. But he couldn’t find a single answer. The next day, more questions kept coming in but I still couldn’t find answers.
The first question as you can imagine was this: Why? However, this question was automatically removed from my head because only the Lord knows the answer and He has decided so.
However, throughout December 18 I found some answers and I began to see some light at the end of a tunnel that had no exit the previous day.
And that was possible thanks to many people who, in a direct or telematic way, have sent us their love and friendship.
In addition, although Páter Paco began the farewell ceremony for Mari Carmen recognizing that it was impossible to find some words of relief, the truth is that his words did help me to begin to accept everything that happened, not only in recent days, but also in recent months.
And a few hours before the end of the day, I read an article (at that time by an unknown author) in Onda Cero Melilla in memory of Mari Carmen that also helped me a lot (that article was written by the one who until that day was Head of the GREG 52, Colonel. Camacho).
The conclusion that I have reached thanks to all those people is that God gave us the opportunity to have Mari Carmen with us for a few months longer than He himself had planned. And it is that after the second operation of the tumor in the head at the beginning of November, the “normal” thing would have been that he had taken it with him. However, he returned it to us and allowed us to enjoy his presence for more than a month. Possibly, if the emergency services that attended to her on the afternoon of December 17 had managed to get her heart going again (and I can attest that they tried much longer than the time that they have marked in their protocols), possibly we would have only recovered her body.
There are many unanswered questions and I hope that as the days and weeks go by I will be able to find the answers. But inadvertently, I think I have found an answer to that first question I mentioned earlier (Why?).
What happened on the sad afternoon of December 17 is that the Lord called her into his presence and said: “Mari Carmen, come with me. You have already shown more than enough courage, courage, the Spirit of Sacrifice and unconditional love for your loved ones. Now you must continue doing the same but from Heaven, continue taking care of them as you have always done ”.
Finally, although I have the remorse that in the previous breast cancer process, perhaps I was very selfish and did not take care of her properly (I continued with my obligations at my destination in Bilbao and I was only with her during the surgical intervention), in this new episode of the tumor in the head, and thanks to the Legion and its Chiefs who have given me all the facilities, I have been able to accompany her, encourage her, care for her and love her as she deserved.
Thank you all very much for the displays of affection.
Mari Carmen, my wife, my wife, my partner, … my friend.
CAPTION:
María del Carmen Fernández Alarcón, professor at the Enrique Soler School
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