Later Menopause Linked to Relationship Strain

Navigating the Unexpected Challenges of Extended Reproductive Years

As women live longer, more are experiencing menopause later in life, often beyond age 55. While a natural variation, this delayed transition can introduce unique emotional and practical hurdles for both individuals and their partnerships, impacting intimacy and communication.

Emotional and Practical Impacts

The shift in hormone levels and resulting physical symptoms associated with later-onset menopause can significantly affect couples. Sharmila Dutt, a psychotherapist at the Evidence-Based Therapy Centre in Galway, explains that these challenges can disrupt relationship dynamics. “Menopause later in life can present both emotional and practical challenges for a couple, stemming from changes in hormone levels, physical symptoms, and the emotional impact of experiencing menopause. These challenges can affect intimacy, communication and overall relationship dynamics,” she says.

The exact causes of late menopause remain unclear, but factors like genetics, body mass index, reproductive history, ovarian reserve, and lifestyle choices may play a role. A recent study by the North American Menopause Society found that approximately 10% of women experience menopause after age 55 (https://www.menopause.org/for-women/menopause-basics).

The Communication Gap

Dutt notes that a lack of understanding from partners can exacerbate the situation. Many women struggle to identify their symptoms, with estimates ranging from 34 to over 50, creating confusion and frustration. “There are still lots of women who don’t understand what’s happening to them at the menopause stage,” she states. “I am left with the question: if women don’t understand what is going on for them, what chance do their partners have?”

She emphasizes the need for broader education about menopause, suggesting it should be included in school curricula and openly discussed at home and in the workplace. Partners often lack the knowledge to ask informed questions, leaving them feeling lost and unprepared.

Navigating Relationship Challenges

Open communication and mutual empathy are crucial for couples navigating this transition. Dutt advises couples to jointly explore lifestyle changes and find ways to connect. “From experience when working with couples, this needs to be navigated with tenderness, empathy and lots of understanding by them both,” she says. “How they engage with each other and the language they use is important.”

Mood swings, decreased libido, physical discomfort, and fears about aging can all strain a relationship. Practical challenges, such as night sweats, fatigue, and memory problems, can also contribute to feelings of distance and resentment.

Foster patience, empathy and understanding as both partners navigate the various challenges menopause can bring

— Sharmila Dutt

Addressing Intimacy and Future Planning

Dutt stresses the importance of addressing intimacy concerns openly and honestly. Couples should explore alternative forms of connection beyond intercourse, such as cuddling or massage. If changes in libido are distressing, seeking guidance from a psychosexual therapist or menopause specialist may be beneficial.

When considering career changes or retirement due to menopausal symptoms like brain fog, collaborative planning is essential. This ensures both partners feel heard and involved in the decision-making process. Prioritizing health through balanced nutrition, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep is also vital.

Dutt encourages couples to view menopause as a shared journey, emphasizing the importance of affection, appreciation, and a willingness to adapt. By fostering open communication and mutual support, couples can navigate the challenges of late-life menopause and strengthen their bond.